So it's 5:02, and I am armed with a small baggie of Goldfish and a half a snack bag of Cheetos

So it's 5:02, I am in my CRV armed with a small baggie of Goldfish and a half a snack bag of Cheetos. (I know, I probably shouldn't give my girls anything that spells cheese as "cheez" but these things are good!) It's Monday and I have to pick up both girls by 6:00.  Usually this happens once a week and I hate it.  I have to sprint out of work at about 4:57 and the anxiety of getting them both in time makes my hair frizz.  Technically it sounds easy but I have to maneuver through Pike West traffic and figure out if I should get off at the further exit and pick up Rachel first, then double back through three sections of Newton to get Laurel.  Or should I choose the closer exit, go through the shittiest rotary known to man, get Laurel and then sprint through the three sections of Newton to get Rachel.

The two arguments banter back and forth through my head like Prude and Rude and holy shit..the car next to me just saw me actively talk out loud in the car.  The way I argue with myself and grip the wheel, they know it ain't Bluetooth.  If I get Rachel first, I have to put her in her car seat twice--once at her school and once at Laurel's school.  Freakin' daylight savings--it's now light out during the pick up and there is no way I could leave her in a locked car while I sprint in to get Laurel.  (Yeah, I know..judge if you must..)  I also don't know what type of mood she will be in..she might want to go right away or be very "difficult".  This is where the Goldfish and Cheetos come in to play.  These mere morsels are supposed to lure her in the seat.  While I am absolutely not afraid of her I do think I should mention that this weekend, she pounced on Laurel and knocked two teeth (albeit all ready loose) out.  Practically, I think I make better time getting Rachel and then Laurel..but I also like my teeth.

Getting Laurel first..the traffic is an absolute nightmare off of the closer exit.  While Laurel knows that we have to hustle to get her sister, she has the CCW pokey gene.  It takes her forever to get her stuff and then she has to say to goodbye to everyone..especially that Paul.  Then on to the drive over to Rachel, Laurel is complaining that she is so hungry there is absolutely no way she will make it home.  (I thank God everyday that there are no McD's between both schools.)  Again, this is where the Goldfish and Cheetos come in play (along with her daily fruit snacks).  While I have all ready admitted to wanting to leave Rachel in a locked car for just a few minutes, I might as well admit this.  Laurel peppers me with the most unanswerable questions in the shortest about of time.  Rachel is quieter..lets me navigate in peace.

So I decide to get Rachel first.  Luckily she is in a great mood, playing outside and runs to me with glee.  (Rachel runs with this chubbiness that just makes me melt.  Her body twists as she runs, one arm to her side and the other swinging in the breeze.)  We get her stuff and immediately, I drop the fishy reference..like butter in the seat (and my teeth are safe.)

We get Laurel at 5:35 and true to form she wants to get her stuff out of her locker on her own while I wait in the main entrance.  While it takes her a short four minutes to get her stuff, she says goodbye to three girls in her path.  (Avoid the boy, Laurel..avoid the boy.  She doesn't avoid boy.... Oh my God, he is as gay as the 1920's.  Laurel, take your time.)  I lure her with the Cheetos..but I do explain that she needs to give a few to Rachel.

And we get home by 5:52.  What I didn't count on was Rachel not crunching into the Cheetos.  She was sucking them..Cheeto goo all over.  And that suit is going to the cleaners.