First of all..I want to kick Paul in the freakin' face..

Have I created a monster?  This morning Laurel wanted me to do something that was absolutely ridiculous.  Let's back up, shall we?

On Tuesday night, I opened the fridge.  Laurel saw a Lorax coupon on Rachel's YoToddler yogurt six pack and squealed with glee. (Absolutely, not my kid..)  "Oh look, it's a Lorax coupon..it's good for a free computer game." (My mind races..my kid is a genius.  She read coupon).
J:  "Laurel, how do you know that?"
L:  "Oh Mom..someone gave Paul this same coupon.  It's for a free video game.  I can give it to Paul for a free game."
(God, I hate this Paul.  Isn't it time for middle school for him?  Actually, not, son of a bitch, that would be in about 656 days.)
So Laurel goes to school on Wednesday with this weird ass coupon for her Paul.  (If I knew what was going to go down, that coupon would have been double baggie'd and put in the our Wang family safe.)

Fast forward to Thursday morning:
L: Mom, Mrs. Kelly lost the coupon I had for Paul.
J: I don't think she lost it.  She probably laminated it or put it in a special box.
L:  No,she lost it. She told me that she doesn't have it.  I have no coupon for Paul.  I need you to go get more yogurt so I can get a new coupon.
J: What does that mean?
L:  Can you go and get more yogurt?
J:  Wait a minute (don't say the f-bomb)..you want me to go to Shaw's at 7:00 in the morning to get a six-pack of yogurt (that we don't need; we have 2 more packs left) to get a coupon for that Paul?
L: Why do you call him "that Paul"?
J:  (You want to go there,)  Laurel..no, I am not dressed, my hair isn't straightened..but regardless..no, no, no..
L: Daddy will go!
J:  (Really? Daddy can't find the freakin' dishwasher.  He is not going to find Shaw's prior to 8:30.) No, he won't.
L: You are the worst!! You don't understand!
J: (And so it begins..) Oh crap!!

For a God damn coupon for a free internet game?

First of all..I want to kick Paul in the freakin' face.  I don't know him..but I don't freakin' like him.  Secondly, are you God damn kidding me?  I never pulled this shit with my mom.  I even called her to make sure..the worst was ironing terrible pleats during multiple mornings.  (Keep in mind the decade..pleats and shoulder pads.) There were a couple of mornings when I would asked for several french braid attempts because I didn't like the bumps.  The worst was one late 11:00 evening when I asked that my Maine Marching Band Championship patch was sewn on my jacket the night that I got it.  (I am now ashamed that I asked..)

A early morning Shaw's run for a coupon for a free video game?  God, I am going to kick "that Paul" in the ass! Not only the argument but turning her into that girl..c'mon!