He asks about focus like he is going to withhold food like an 80's East German gymnastics coach.

Tonight Ching and I had Laurel's second conference of the year.


Regardless of going in late (because a mom got the wrong day--just like my doctor's appointment-3/22/12- and it pushed us back), Ching and I go in wanting to hear that our child is a genius.  We want to hear that she is Princeton bound with a full academic scholarship.  Perhaps she will be a surgeon or the kindest philanthropist that gives and remains silent, as opposed to someone like Oprah.  I don't want to hear that Laurel could be President--such a shitty job.  Regardless of how well the country is doing, you are pissing someone off and you know there are nut jobs out there that want to shoot you dead.


I grew up as teacher-centric. My mom raised me as she became and was a teacher.  I grew up in central offices and teacher's rooms (which have to be the most awesome, coolest places ever..you know what kid is the real shit while in the teacher's room.  Also you realize that the heart of the school are the custodians and admin.  If you mess with them, they will cut you.  (Figuratively, of course.) Growing up with the teachers that were friends of my mom was truly a pleasure.  With conferences, I remember my mom hating that time of year.  Not for the actual conference, and not for explaining that a child needs special help or challenging questions, but those parents that just sit there like a turd on a log.  There was a toothless woman in Hudson, Maine that threw the report card in my mom's face back in the early 80's.  Still to her, not as bad as the turd parents. I think about the teacher first and what they are offering my child--I hope I am not a turd.

(I am also avoiding talking about that parent that judges past experiences on the current teacher.  I have heard of parents arriving in September wanting to make their presence known..that sounds like a bully. Not my gig.. Perhaps not on topic..but I need to mention it.)

We hear that Laurel is a very good writer and we see this amazing story that she writes about her family going to Bertucci's. (or Birtoochee's as she writes it).  She is an excellent reader and her math skills are1st grade.  Ching starts to ask about focus.  He asks about focus like he is going to withhold food like an 80's East German gymnastics coach.  That's not him..softy..he is weak when the girls look at him with joy.

(I am trying to focus while in a kid's chair..my ass is 4 inches from the floor.  Where are the adult chairs?  I know you have them in the gym/kid's auditorium.  I sat in a folding chair during the Mickey review.)

While we go in late, we get a 35 minute (as opposed to 20 minute) conference.  We learn that while Laurel is very smart; she is kind, polite, full of focus and the model student.  Honestly we sound like assholes asking for more..this teacher is so not getting the address to Hintofattijude..