I have dreaded this day. Primarily because Laurel is closer to the stage that will be my nemesis.. I thought I had more time. I don't want to get into arguments about what is not practical, too expensive or just makes her look older than she is.
When I was a young girl, my mom would take me shopping in Bangor, Maine at the local TJ Maxx. It seemed so much harder back then, going through racks of stuff as I am asking for anything Jordache while there was a strict budget. (And now my mother's day gift just got a little bigger..)
Our "play date" started with lunch. Laurel wanted to go to this newer diner that is hip. (She is cool..she is my daughter..) But maybe she is not my daughter because this place cannot move seats. And the hostess staff is so vapid that standing next to them makes me feel more stupid as the minutes tick by. Pretty, but Holy Christ..so God damned dumb... After a 20 minute wait, we leave and go to a good, quick diner..and we have a nice brunch--french toast for her and lox and cream cheese for me.
First we start with sneakers..We start at a smaller store that claims lower prices, but I like a smaller setting. My Amex will get ripped..I know. I took two sneakers off the wall and wait for 8 minutes. "Do you need help?--(Really..did I just appear..Holy Christ..) Yes..1.5.." At first, I curse this crap but then get behind of dad of three..he spends $585 on sneakers, Easter shoes and Crocs..really. His testicles are back in the Nike section.
With our sneakers purchased without incident, we are now off to Target. My stomach is quaking at the potential debate of what my daughter wants (which will probably suck) to what I want..which of course will be uncool. I want to avoid Hello Kitty, glitter, anything too short or more than $10 a piece. (Until she stops growing..it's cheap all the way!) I have tried so hard for about 30 years to be cool. But now I am waving the Amex..I don't give a freak if I am cool or not.
What I didn't expect is Laurel being calm and asking questions that I wasn't prepared for..like why do they give you a ticket with the number of items for the dressing room? What is shoplifting? And why would someone steal? Now our shopping excursion has a "after school special" feel. With my words I also try to stress, without exactly saying it, that if she ever stole anything, I wouldn't bail her out.
She also had an agenda of her own..she needed a wallet. While she had a gift card, she found other things that she (very politely) asked if she could get along with a wallet. I knew what was coming..God damn I hate that cat! She finds this Hello Kitty fedora that initially made me cringe but made me know she is mine. ( I loved hats back in the day!! Is it possible to pass this down?) I agree to it because that mouthless cat logo is small..and she is paying for it.
We got everything that we needed and Laurel was very good. I tell her that I really enjoyed our day and she beams about her spring/summer clothes and her purchases. I think she is happy because she feels a little older; the same reason why I feel a little sad.
But now I am dealing with that hat and the Nick Choice Awards..we will leave it at that..a fedora and a t.v. show..awesome.
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