Honestly, I am afraid of pulling an MC Hammer..

In a matter of hours, I could become a multi-millionaire.  God, I hope it doesn't turn me into an asshole.  I only play when there are big pots. I feel better when I don't win at least knowing that I tried.  Ching laughs at me and that I just lost $1-$5.  Sometimes I just want to win to see the look on his face and then to see his eyes dancing at the magic he could work on the spreadsheet.  While his eyes dance..I think that maybe I could buy Jon Hamm..

There are basic questions that go through your mind as you prepare (to win):
Would I work?  Probably..I should.  I wouldn't get any other social skills because Lord knows that I am not hanging around the classroom moms any time soon.  But maybe just part time..so I could write my book, "All Wang..All the Time."  Also I would have time to cook..real things like pesto and perhaps churn my own butter..not "prepare" things out a canister that take a little bit of water and some "spread". (God damn you Stovetop..)

Would I indulge in frivolous things?  I am not sure..I know some ladies that would love a lifetime supply of fake eyelashes.  Custom made diamond studs that my ears could wear?  Sounds pathetic but that's it. Travel(?)-with the girls..I avoid all things that take me to a security gate at the airport with the girls.  Nice restaurants?  Yeah..the nicest ones that serve chicken nuggets and have high chairs.  Nice cars--doesn't matter how immaculate on the outside, on the inside there would be two car seats, empty juice boxes, crushed goldfish and random pieces of artwork done three months ago.

I would be so afraid how it would affect the girls.  Laurel thinks we have everything now..the three quarters that I give her weekly as her allowance may be a fart in the wind.  I wouldn't want to move..while the house is very quirky with the air conditioning and the "charm"..I don't want to move the girls to a new neighborhood.

If you are close to me and have to ask..would I get something from JCW?  If you have to ask, then you are not that close to me..move on.

Honestly, I am afraid of pulling an MC Hammer and live beyond what I was given..not able to say no to people looking to pay their mortgage, Visa bill or their kid's field trip regardless how ridiculous.  Perhaps, selfishly, I would want to make sure my girls' future is secure..college, trust.  Ching would want the house to be paid off just to give him some playtime with the spread sheet..

But the rest..maybe the lottery needs me to do something really good..research for Cancer, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, Autism..because I haven't met anyone not affected..

But of course this is when I hope I don't become an asshole...