Sometimes I am lazy and just want to avoid conflict. I tend to be an instant gratification briber, trying to get from point A to point B. The situation usually plays out like this...something isn't working..negotiate, negotiate..plead (come on JCW, stand your ground) and then I cave..okay will gum help? Usually this happens when the girls are tired, I am tired or I am in a rush.
But, I know that I have to be careful. Sometimes a bribe will set a trend. Four years ago, I bought a box of fruit snacks. If Laurel had a good day, she would get a small package to eat on the way home. At two, a good day was defined when she didn't hit or bite another kid. Two hundred and eight boxes later, this trend of a fruity Disney gummies still ends her school day.
The majority of the time Ching will use the bribe over a long time frame such as trying to get Laurel to show effort and focus. Recently, at Laurel's last soccer game, I overheard Ching telling Laurel to "focus and remember, Happy Napper." Apparently after a successful soccer season, she was going to receive a ghetto version of a Pillow Pet.
With bribes, I have to be aware of potential scenarios and not appear weak. My cards have to be kept close to my chest. After a few years, I can sense when a bribe is going to be used. Frequently, when Ching takes Laurel to the playground, I will bet money that she is eating a donut or something when she come back through the door. Full of guilt, he looks at me and says that he needed to get her to leave.
One morning I did try to get Laurel to pre-school with some money. I absolutely cannot start that trend. By the time she is in high school, I would have to palm her $20's to get out of bed. While I won't give in with money, you will probably find me carrying around a packet of fruit snacks and a packet of Lorna Doones for the rest of my life.
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