And this is about kids so it's just poop..

My life revolves around poop.  There is something weird that happens when you become a parent.  As soon as your first child is born, it is perfectly normal to openly talk about poop.  By no means in this entry will you hear the cliche "my life is full of shit" because it is not.  And this is about kids so it's just poop..

Ching and I talk about the girls' pooping all the time.  "Did Rachel poop today?" is the first question that we ask in regards to her day.  Especially if it's bath night--Rachel has a habit of being a tub pooper.  (Ching Wang isn't good with the tub poop..I'll talk about screaming like a girl later....)  If she hasn't pooped, our moods change immediately and we find ourselves walking around on eggshells waiting for the bomb. (Literally and Figuratively)   And this doesn't go away once your child is out of diapers...any malady that Laurel has, my first possible solution is pooping.  Oh, your arm hurts? Have to poop?  (I think she is catching on..before she tells me she has a headache..she says, "I don't have to poop. I need Tylenol."  I feel like I have been busted on a walk of shame. God damn it!!)

I have no filter when it comes to poop.  I tell stories about my kids' habits all the time..work is a great audience.  I work with all of these crazy young people that are childless.  Blow outs, awkward location stories are always good--and of course their laughter soothes my pain.  I even entertain Laurel with her own stories.  Her favorite story is about her, at just a week old, exploding all over Ching (as he was changing her thinking is was just pee).  He screams like a girl, I can't help but laugh (because, I am  me) and of course karma gets me (bitch) and I pee my pants.  (Continence was not my friend after I had Laurel.)  That story gets her every time.  (I feel like I should say that I don't use the phrase "karma bitch" when telling this story to my daughter.)

If I am in public and I think Rachel has pooped, I immediately smell her butt.  I could be in the fanciest restaurant (well, the fanciest that serves chicken nuggets) and I do the sniff.  (Parents--you know the sniff..)You would think I would be discreet but that never enters my mind.

I wasn't sure how I was going to end this but Rachel does..no joke, she has pooped .  Ching isn't here and I can't use my awesome bartering skills (you change this and I have the next 3)  and I have to go..awesome, but it's just poo..