While I joke that my skills as a mother are lacking, I do believe that I am a good mom. I am sincere in my efforts. My girls (so far) seem well balanced and healthy but in my journey, I am constantly humbled. I do shake my head when countless mistakes are made and then I joke that I will go to Bad Mother Hell.
I picture Bad Mother Hell as a place that it is never quiet. The sound of whining or crying kids is piped in like background music that you would hear in CVS. You have the nagging feeling of knowing that you're late or forgetting something. There would be obstacle course with tasks like putting a squirmy kid in a car seat or trying to change the diaper of a toddler that keeps wanting to flip over. For someone like me, my penance would be my morning routine..forever..like a gerbil in a God damn wheel. If you sit down, each chair has the sensation that some little brat is kicking the back. Sleep would be hard too because you would constantly be startled in the middle of the night by a six year old whispering, "I want to sleep you." And there would be no alcohol available..so no vodka shooters, no painfully cold white wine.
During the last 36 hours, these are my moments that I thought would send me to a place very loud and very hot..
1. I rushed Laurel during her good bye kiss because I had to go..(chop chop).
2. I sent Rachel to school in a pair of pants on that had a very strange stain. They were clean, I swear. I just don't know what that stain was..
3. I gave Rachel a sippy cup with chunky milk..at least it was cold chunky milk.
4. I lied to Laurel about some old artwork. I told her that I didn't know where it went (but everyone knows where it went.)
I am not very good in the heat...I might have to walk around naked... (Happy Birthday LSDR!)
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