Not one, but two people thought I was crying at work today.

Not one, but two people thought I was crying at work today.  Someone walked by.."Are you crying?"  Um, no..And what the hell do you want? (Yeah, this is pretty much how I am when I am not mothering.)

When I was talking to my mom this morning, apparently I had some odd lilt in my voice because she asked, "Are you crying?"  "Hell,no...I don't freakin' cry at work".  Oh shit, blog topic..let me write this down.  (This is how the blogs happen.)

Not only do I not cry at work but I don't believe in it.  If I see a woman crying at work,  I am not supportive.  I usually give them an evil eye to get their ass into a stall of the ladies room. (And don't freakin' come out until you are put together!)

Over all, I am not much of a crier.  I don't cry when I am sad...more if I am frustrated and pissed off.  If I do cry, it's bad because my face gets all twisty--lots of tears and mucous.  My voice gets very high so I can't fake not crying.  If I am crying, and you asked me a question, you will regret it.  I am a puddle and the situation gets very awkward..for you (sucks to be you and you will try to pretend that you don't know me.)  You want to get the hell out of there and I am just melting.

I don't want to cry at work because I feel that it sets a precedent.  Does it make me look weak?  And it could it happen again if stress prevails?  It is not about just being a crier, it is about anyone over emotional at work--woman or man or that man who I swear acts like a woman.  I have sat next to many a person that will go ape shit over bad phone calls (and slamming the phone down) or slow computers that result with a bitchy myriad of swears.

Perhaps crying shows that I have feelings and I am not as hard as I would like to show.  I would rather not show that soft side...it is protected with that hard candy coated shell that I call snark.