It was a pretty low key, local circus. Not that Barnum and Bailey stinky elephant circus.

When I was a kid.. (as I write this statement, I picture my mom sitting at her desk sucking in her breath and then saying "Oh, Christ").  Anyway, when I was a kid, manners were everything.  I think my mom even said that poor manners were a sign of stupidity.  (Or maybe that was profanity..but regardless..have good manners and watch the profanity.)  When I was really young, I remember being given something, anything and before I could even digest the situation, there was a voice from above.."What do you say?"  And immediately I would say, thank you.

As I got older, my manners remained intact.  I never believed that I can say "please, thank you or excuse me" enough in any situation.  I wanted my girls to be the same way.

At Laurel's first parent teacher conference, when we were told that Laurel had the very best manners, I felt as if I was told that she was Ivy bound.  (You probably aren't surprised to know that Ching actually mentioned the phrase "ivy-bound" during the conference.)  Before she goes to any play date or birthday party, I tell her to remember her manners.  As she gets older, some sass pops up as she says, "I know, I know".  I jokingly say that her tone isn't polite.

That is why yesterday just seemed strange.  Laurel was over at a friend's house playing and as they were about to leave for the circus, they invited Laurel to come along.  (It was a pretty low key, local circus.  Not that Barnum and Bailey stinky elephant circus.)  I knew she would have a great time and while she was being dropped off at home, Laurel sprinted through the door and went right to the family room.  I was livid.  I told her to march herself back into the entry way and say thank-you. (Oh Christ, I used the word "march".) After the mom left, Ching and I read Laurel the riot act about not saying thank you.  And then she cried.

As I mother more over time and become a little more hardened, I don't feel bad (about her crying) but I do think about the situation.  Perhaps Laurel had said thank you on the way up to the door?  Or maybe Ching and I weren't worried about Laurel saying thank you but what the other mom would think of us when she didn't.

I don't want Laurel (or Rachel) to become a person that just responds with a the same rhetorical, "Thank you".  Like using, "fine" or simple salutations.  I would like her to know when to be polite instead of the cue just to say "Thank you."

So I mother with a simple please and thank you and hope to God I don't drop the f-bomb around them.