I was freaking huge but huge in a very expensive dress.

Rachel's birthday is tomorrow.  I have been blessed twice.  And like I did for Laurel, this is my version of what happened on the day that (Rachel) was born.


While you were born on July 16, I often think of July 15 as the day that you were born. Two years ago today was a day with some drama and some waiting at a stand still...all for you.

You were born into a family with a big sister waiting for you.  When Laurel was three and a half, your dad and I decided that we wanted to be blessed with another little girl or boy.  Since we were not first time parents, we felt that our experience put us ahead of the game.  Your dad and I thought we could handle more than just one major life event.  Expecting another Wang wasn't enough, we thought we could sell our condo, buy a new house and move into that new house prior to your due date of July 17. This all seemed doable when I we listed the house while I was 18 weeks along. (I swear that you must have had a devilish grin even at 18 weeks.)

Around the same time as the listing, we found out that you were a little girl.  I was very surprised because I truly thought you were going to be a boy just like your sister. Obviously guessing genders...not my strong suit.   We didn't have a name for you until the day before you were born but in the meantime, I called you Phyllis.  The name was such a retro name of a time when I was a little girl.  You don't hear the name Phyllis being used all that much so I thought it was my duty to put it into play albeit temporarily.  The reaction from people was sheer gold when they would ask me what I was having and then I would start referring to us as Phyllis.  The look on their face: You are not going to name her Phyllis, are you?

The pregnancy was relatively tame and I was lucky.  Like your sister, I did have a rough first trimester with lots of nausea.  Your sister would tease me with nausea through out the day.  You, other the hand, would give me breaks and only show up mid-morning and during my commute home. Brushing my teeth proved a challenge since I tended to throw up and then brush my teeth...there was a part of me that thought you would be amused at this vicious cycle.  When I finally made it to second trimester, I would go to the gym at lunch.  I tried to remain as active as possible and quite frankly wanted to gain less than the 41 pounds that I gained with Laurel.

While your sister didn't know exactly how I got pregnant, she did know where you were in me and more importantly, how you were going to come out.  She found great pleasure in saying the words, uterus, birth canal and vajay-jay especially when we were out in public.  For some reason I wasn't bothered because her sheer excitement for your arrival surpassed any sort of embarrassment.

The third trimester was a challenge.  It was nothing that you were doing but more other distractions.  While our condo sold relatively quickly, we lived near this wacky neighbor that we thought could jeopardize the whole process.  I didn't realize how hard packing was going to be.  (My thought was that if your dad was doing a lot of the physical lifting and moving (with the movers), I should do the packing.)  And then there was the heat.  While I knew that I was going to be pregnant in June/July, the summer was unseasonably warm.  And my ankles paid for it---when you are older, you will understand the grossness of fat ankles.

With the heat, matched the same craving that I had with your sister---ice and snow.  Unfortunately, I couldn't get snow but I got slushies and popsicles.  To this day, I can't describe it but that granular, icy goodness just tasted so good.

While we finally moved into the house that you would always know as your first home, I still had to get through one more event before you could arrive.  I was serious, you could not come out until my cousin Hannah's wedding.  Your sister was a flower girl but I really wanted to see Hannah get married.  A few days prior to going up to Maine, I had an OB/GYN appointment--no dilation.  That was good but just on to be on the safe side, I was keeping my legs shut with a little extra force.  (Honestly, my butt could have used the toning.) My fear came from the fact that this wedding was exactly two weeks before you were due.  Your sister was born two weeks before she was due.  Your dad and I hoped for the best and had a hospital mapped out in Maine, just in case.

The wedding was beautiful.  As always, your dad cleaned up nice and your sister looked too grown up for four and a half.  I was freaking huge but huge in a very expensive dress.  Only you Rachel, would get me to a wedding looking like a Two Ton Tess and truly feel okay about that.

So...no more wedding, no more move...you can show up anytime.  But you didn't.

During my final week of work, my OB said that I was two centimeters dilated and did some sort of membrane sweep.  She said that you could arrive within the next three days.  Awesome!  My last day of work was Friday, July 9th and your sister went to stay with Nana for a few days.  But nothing happened.

This is when I felt desperate and started to research foods that would induce labor.  Pineapple..didn't work.  Spicy foods...didn't work. Tonic water...nothing.  I really didn't want to use my maternity leave on the front end but all I could do was wait.  (Ironically during this waiting, I got Laurel from Nana's house.  Not only was she homesick, but a little confused why I was still pregnant.)

On Wednesday night, I absolutely couldn't take it anymore.  I told your Dad that I had to get stuff done around the house.  I made a very long list, including a very long walk around the Y's track.  Thursday was my day to get it done.  After I dropped your sister off at pre-school, I went home to take a short nap.  Needless to say, I just needed 60 minutes to feel like a new woman and to get my list started.

The alarm went off at 10:00 and I was really to go!  When I stood up (thankfully on a hardwood floor), I immediately peed my pants.  It is very weird to be embarrassed and alone at the same time.  I then go into the bathroom and try to pee, but nothing.  Well this is freakin' ridiculous. (Too soon for "ridic".)  So I decided to change and put on clean undies but as I lift my leg to get them on, I pee some more.  "Oh my God...this isn't pee!  It's fluid!  I haven't even started my list yet!"

Quite frankly, the list is the least of my worries because here comes the comical cycle (#1) of me trying to get clean undies on while I am leaking out a storm.  Clean myself...wait until anymore comes out? No?...lift my leg up to put on clean undies and more fluid comes out. Absolutely no rhyme or reason and I thought this is supposed to come out like a gush?  It is like a slow leak as if someone just decided to start poking a hole and then decided to stop like she had nothing to do with it. (Rachel---I am looking at you.)

While I finally "womaned" myself with two pairs of undies and a couple of pads that I thankfully still had from my recovery from Laurel.  Then comical sight #2: I my shuffling along but dragging a towel behind me to clean up my trail.  (If this sounds embarrassing, it was.)

I call the doctor's office and explain my predicament.  The nurse asks that I come into the office (in Back Bay..with lots of people around...that could potentially see me leaking)?  I kind of want to beg her to come to me but I can do this!  All I have to do is call your dad and he will meet me at the office (which conveniently was very close to his office).  So I towel up the driver's seat and take my phone, my wallet, keys and a couple of pads.  I have all of this in my hands.  It doesn't even occur to me to put it in a pocketbook or at least a Shaw's bag.

(I forgot to mention...there are absolutely no contractions happening.  I thank you for that.)

It is a pretty short trip from Newton to Back Bay but I know that your dad has whipped out his spreadsheet to figure out the minimal amount of time it should have taken me.  After 15 minutes, he is calling, checking to see where I am.  I am about to do the walk of shame through Back Bay station.  As I am walking and squishing along, I am hoping that the closest homeless person, student or someone late for work cannot see that my shorts (albeit dark) are very wet and there may be a stream of liquid running down my leg.  Holy frick, I hope I don't run into anyone that I know.

I am finally at the office and your dad is there.  They have to confirm that my water has broken (as if I couldn't do that) and to check the heartbeat.  This is about the time, you decided to take your time...a very calm heartbeat with very little movement.  Again, it seems like someone just wanted "to see what would happen" if you kept poking.  As I was hooked up to a monitor and your dad  and I decided that your name should be Rachel Jessica.  I did try to make one last request for Chandler but got shot down.

I was given the choice of going right to the hospital or to go home and wait a little bit.  I wanted to go home...I needed to take a shower.  I was told that if nothing happened, I needed to get to the hospital by 8 am the next morning to be induced.

I got home, showered and then primped.  When your sister was born, I had no make-up on but after looking at those pictures, I realized that was a mistake.  While I was ready to go at any moment, that moment clearly was not right now so your dad and I got home and just waited. There was nothing on tv.  I didn't eat anything (with the hope/fear that I would go into delivery mode soon).  I was very bored.  So there I was...just sitting some sort of hospital pad, on the couch.

And then Nana showed up.  After 15 minutes, she wanted to know why nothing was happening.  (Well, clearly, you were in control.)  So we watched some more bad television and then at the acceptable time, your Nana started dipping into the grape.  She then insisted that I needed to move.  My first task was make dinner.  Yes, that is right.  I made dinner for your dad and Nana.  (Laurel was off doing something fun with Lindsey.)  If I recalled a grilled everything--steak, zucchini and plums.  I put gorgonzola and drizzled balsalmic vinegar on the grilled plums.  While they ate my meal, I ate something very bland.

I was than presented with the second task of walking up this huge hill near our house.  Please keep in mind that there were absolutely no contractions happening.  What were you doing in there?

Your sister got home with Lindsey.  They had gone to a carnival and was under the impression that I may be gone when they got home. Needless to say, your sister was still very confused why I was still there and you had not shown up yet.

I watched probably the most boring television until 11:00 willing something to happen.  Nothing...so I got ready to go the bed (took off the make-up) and came to the realization that I would have to be induced (because someone was very, very stubborn.).  So at 11:12, I closed my eyes...

And my eyes flew open at 2:12.  Holy Cow...that was quite a wake up. Another one at 2:15...I had to use the wrought iron headboard pull myself up to the sitting position to get my breath.  Are you freaking kidding me?  This has got to be a joke..nothing and then this? Another one at 2:18.  "Ching...Ching...Ching...we have got to go NOW."

Luckily your dad, while groggy, moved quickly to get dressed.  I just stayed in my pj's and just went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and to pee.  As I was peeing, I realized that I really had to go to the bathroom but there was no way.  The last thing I needed was to have you in the toilet or later in the Corolla.  (I don't think your dad would be good with that type of mess.)  I came to the conclusion that I would hold it now but I would be pooping on the table later.

While your insistence was to come RIGHT NOW...it was ideal that it was in the middle of the night.  There was no traffic and we were able to get to the hospital pretty quickly.  (It would have been quicker if Daddy didn't originally pass the entrance.)

True to to form, the reception nurse was very slow and I wanted to throw up right then and there.  I knew at that point, I was 30 minutes out from being a new mom and this woman just kept saying.."just a minute".  If anyone deserved a punch in the neck.  But I couldn't say anything...literally...let alone punching someone in the neck.  (You know that is a joke...Mommy has never punched anyone.)

As I was finally changed into my gown, it was confirmed that I was 10 centimeters dilated.  I was asked if I was intending on having a natural childbirth.  While the word "yes" was coming out of my mouth, I realized
what they meant.  This was not a difference between a C-section and a vaginal birth.  This was about drugs. I quickly took my yes back and begged for the drugs. I was told there was no time.  You were coming in less than 20 minutes.

Are you kidding me Phyllis?  Do you know how big your sister was and the damage she did?  You want me to do this al fresco?  I had no choice.  (All the while, I think your dad was confused how all of this just happened within 60 minutes.)

So I gave everything I could.  Within a couple of minutes, you were out, screaming your head off.  (You were neither drugged up nor calm like your sister.)

You were a tiny bit smaller than your big sister but so strong.  You seemed to have lungs made of steel.  I realized that you will do what you want...when you want.

And I can't believe what you just allowed me to do. I am euphoric.  What a perfect morning:  I have you, healthy, swaddled and asleep.  Your dad is napping and I got blueberry pancakes and bacon to celebrate.