I have one whose boney butt won't sit in a chair..I have another who is a scavenger and then I have Ching...

How old will the girls be when dinner isn't a covert mission?  I am just looking for a gathering of the four Wangs, eating nicely, talking about their day and perhaps passing the butter every now and then.  In the past, I have written about being a short order cook but this is not about the food.  I have to be crafty and strategic like I am a championship coach--x's and o's and with eyes that can yell!

Walking through the door at 6:00 in the evening, Laurel will always plead that she is dying of hunger.  She is a vacuum when it comes to snacks.  She immediately needs three of anything.  I am curious what she does during the school day?  I have caved but to my advantage.  (I am not sure if this is a win but I can guarantee that Laurel--you absolutely didn't freakin' win..)  I will give her snacks but the snacks could double as parts of her dinner--cheese sticks, gogurt (because yogurt is better slurped in a tube) or fresh fruit.  It keeps her quiet and starts her dinner right away.  When she finally gets (the official) dinner, her boney butt will never actually sit in the chair.  I also have to do something with her hair..always on a non-bath night, her hair, that is growing out, comes dangerously close to her applesauce every freakin' time.  While the Wangs sit, she is constantly trying to leave the table with the bites bargain..how many more bites?  It is bites until her next activity..

(I have a friend, Julie, that lets her kid snack on raw veggies and hummus before dinner.  She explained to me that if the shit hits the fan during dinner and a time out results, at least she knows he got his veggies.  Freakin' genius.  Nobel-mother-prize genius. Imagine a mother winning a prize for something so practical and useful.  The prize would be a welcome stay in solitary with a wet cement floor..alone..knowing that she will get peace.  And an opportunity to wash, dry and straightened her hair in peace even if the shower is cold.)

And then Rachel..my girl, my nemesis.  She is a very good eater as long as she can eat what is on your plate.  I can duplicate what is on my plate and put it in front of her but she will turn her nose up like it was a big steamy pile of doody.  Rachel just wants to eat off of the plates of mine or Ching's. (This practice happens at school too.  Rachel, with her cute pudgy body, will reach and grab her friends' food.  Note to self..send some sort of snack/meal in for the class)   What is on my plate could be a traditional meat and potatoes or something exotic like escargot or salmon sushi. Rachel will eat it.  So I make a plate "for me" and feed it to her with a special robot fork...wait until she finishes and then I eat/or Ching takes over.

It shouldn't be this complicated..I have one child whose boney butt won't sit in her chair..I have another child who is a scavenger and then I have Ching...who won't give me a suggestion for dinner but a confirmation that he will eat anything.

I just want to eat alone..in the basement..silence.  Well, probably not, in about 20 seconds I will go in cray-cray mode and start talking to myself..