Ching's aunt and uncle pretended not to hear that comment.

So good to be home.  I did go into this Wang Family Vacay with a bit of pessimism--slightly glass half empty but I can't help it, I see potential snark in everything.  There were expectations met but also delightful and craptastic surprises.  Rather than give you a day by day recap..I thought it best to give you some highlights (Kind of like a clip show--really wish I had a soundtrack.)

Travel, not bad but not great:
Ching had the idea of late or red eye flights so the girls would sleep.  Only Laurel followed suit.  Rachel was awake 3.5 hours of a 5.5 hour flight.
This plane had three seats on either side of the aisle.  Since we are a family of 4--one lucky soul got to sit in the odd seat.  I wasn't that soul--I tried but Rachel wouldn't have it.  (This is when she chooses to like me.)
Same feeling..different trip-- The whole de-planing, luggage retrieval, rental car..quick hotel check in always makes me want to turn around and go home.
We stayed at a hotel the first night to avoid driving..but I didn't like the hotel.  If my stay doesn't include a room service menu and an honor bar..it's ghetto.

Expectations Met/Feeling Renewed:
Got my crispy duck moo-shi at Sam Woo!  Granted the duck wasn't inspected but I did see another table totally giving a live king crab the once over before the kill.  (Also, I love going to Sam Woo because the restaurant is in the same shopping area as the CVS where I bought my last ovulation kit before Laurel was born..damn, good times!)
Rachel was a great eater..Laurel, not so much.  While Ching's aunt and uncle praised Rachel for eating asparagus, Laurel made it clear that she doesn't eat asparagus because she doesn't want stinky pee.  Ching's aunt and uncle pretended not to hear that comment.
I hate theme parks.  I don't like the rides or the inflated costs.  But mostly I hate watching parents yell at their kids when (the kids) are so overstimulated from the excitement and sugar.  I also hate seeing people steering their "electric rider" with their right hand while holding a massive turkey leg with their left.  Put down the leg and get some exercise.
Sand--I hate it.
Sun--I try but every freakin' time I burn something..this time it was the right side of my nose and my left foot.
I knew Laurel could hear me!  All this time, she was just ignoring me when I said "hustle" or "dinner".  As we are driving into San Diego..I go into Ron Burgundy mode.  I side-mouth whisper to Ching that it means whale's vagina..Of course Laurel questions me for the next 5 minutes about saying whale's vagina.

Mother of the Year Award Moment:
At Sea World, we went to a dolphin show.  Ching and Laurel really wanted to sit in the soak zone.  This zone is the first 12 rows close to the water--you are likely to get wet during the performance.  The Wangs definitely got wet as the dolphins..were just being little bitches.  But here is the crux:  As we were getting splashed, Ching shielded Rachel.  Did I shield Laurel?  Nope..shielded myself.  There was definite payback minutes after the show when a seagull shit on me.

Is There Something Wrong with Me?
I am absolutely bored when it comes to dolphins and whales.  The only thing that intrigued me during the whale show was how fat the lead guy was..Honey, look in the mirror while in the wet suit prior to the show.

Family Style Was Meant for Chinese Dinners Only
Family Style was not meant for the Cheesecake Factory.  When I go there I want my own entree and dessert--I don't want to share.  Four people should not share 1 app and 3 entrees. I left feeling hungry and my only liquor was this weak Cosmo..I have had wine spritzers stronger than that drink.

The Snark Stayed Inside because I am going to Hell:
While we were at In and Out Burger, there was an elderly woman that came up to Laurel to tell her that she was the prettiest girl she had ever seen.  This woman had those huge cataract sunglasses on..I was intrigued how she could even see Laurel?
Disneyland--I saw some sort of girly dance troop with the heaviest make-up on..it was so thick..they could have been boys.  Speaking of emasculated boys, during the princess meet and greet, this pre-teen boy was forced, by his mother, to do dance and proposal poses with Cinderella..holy shit.

Birth Control?
Ching's cousin flew down from San Fran to spend some time with the girls and the other kids in Ching's family.  Newly married, she expressed that she wanted to have kids.  I am curious after spending the weekend with 5 kids under the age of 9, if she still feels that way or just renewed her birth control prescription?

I joke about the trip but I know this (trip) went well.  While we were getting on the plane home, apparently I was a couple of steps ahead of Ching and the girls.  The attendant asked if I was a party of one.  Immediately I said.."Oh no, I am with my family."  Since I didn't bolt, I guess the trip was pretty good.