Oh look, Ching looks like a hero and I look like a tree killer.

Happy Holidays from the Wangs!  There is nothing like the insanity of Christmas to truly appreciate a very quiet New Year.  The insanity included plenty of holiday faux pas that probably scarred my children right into 2013.

1.  That stupid elf burned me again.  I got up to December 23 without "Mike".  But he was found by the genius Nana of Maine.
Mom:  Jude, look what I found?  He was packed up right on the shelf.  How ironic...perhaps he could join us?
JCW:  Oh shit...Great...hope you are not looking for more drinky drink.
In the two days that I was supposed to "place" him, I forgot both times.  I also let Rachel hold him.
LAW:  "Mom, you're not letting Rachel hold him are you?"
JCW:  "Um, no..."  As I swat that creepy elf out of Rachel's hand.
RJW:  Now, crying...
LAW:  He isn't supposed to be touched...he is Magic...Magic Mike.
JCW:  This isn't Magic Mike...that's for sure.

2.  The facade of Santa Claus--really, Laurel?  You still believe?  Hasn't that little shit at school ruined for you yet?  If her friend didn't, I probably will.
JCW:  "Laurel, I am so glad you liked all the gifts you got.  Mom and Dad (mainly Mom) worked very hard picking them out and wrapping them."
LAW:  "I thought Santa brought some of my gifts."  Her eyes shifting left then right.
JCW:  "Oh...of course.  Yeah, that's what I meant."
LAW:  "I like how you and Santa use the same paper."
JCW:  "Yeah, we share...hey Laurel, want a cookie?"  Thanks Santa for letting me lie to my kid and them distract with sugar.

3.  Never take down a fake tree in front of your kids.  (My kids) acted like I was dismembering a body.  (First of all, the Wangs are a fake tree family.  Judge if you must...every season, I am saving a tree from being cut.  I couldn't even type that without rolling my eyes.  It is a fiscally responsible.  For three Christmases, we avoided paying $75 for a good, real tree by owning a tree that cost $250 back in 2010.  Christmas 2013, we will be in the black--Christmas joy for everyone!)  Laurel and Rachel know that the tree is kept in parts, in a box, in the basement.  But seeing me yank the top, middle and bottom really threw them for a loop like I was killing the tree.  I waited until Ching took them out for something fun so they didn't see me woman-handle the branches back into their upright position while at the same time jamming them in the box.  Oh look, Ching looks like a hero and I look like a tree killer.

Not a stellar job on my part...but it's done.  For those who felt like you conquered like the season like a champ, Laurel would like to let you know that only 359 days until Christmas 2013.