I have been questioned (at work) about what I am like at home like I am some sort of human gargoyle that my kids must endure.

When I drive home from work, there is a transformation that happens.  I go from Work Jude to Home Jude.  While this doesn't seem like a big deal, I have been questioned (at work) about what I am like at home like I am some sort of human gargoyle that my kids must endure.  I can assure you that I am kinder and gentler.

When I see my girls, I immediately want to hug them.  I want them to know that they are loved and safe.  I don't feel that way about anyone at work therefore I have a "abso-frickin' no hugging" policy.  I am continually perplexed why someone would want to hug me rather than shake my hand.  I have found that most who want to hug me are men and I try to give the same "cold as ice" stare that I give Ching as they are trying to go in for the business.

I don't swear at home.  I am not sure how I do this but JCW rated R version from work quietly transitions to JCW rated PG at home.  I never use my beloved F bomb at home even though at work I can use it as a noun, verb, pronoun and adverb.  At home, I talk like this blog--no F bombs.  Swearing sounds very mad and quite frankly, I don't want to have to explain myself to Laurel or be afraid that Rachel will repeat it at daycare.

At work, I tend to stay to myself.  This may give the impression that I am snobby but I am actually shy.  I would rather stay in the comfort of my cubicle rather than stray out and meet new hires (that were born when I graduated from high school.)  When I am home, I push myself out of that comfort zone and try to meet other parents.  Ching is very good at this so usually I just tag along as "Ching's wife--you know, that one with a guy's name".  I just want to make sure that other mom's know who the girls' mom is and who to call for a play date.  Over time I have gotten better at this, able to make happy chit chat when I run into them at Shaw's without saying awkward things or acting like their new best friend.  For some reason at work, if I say something awkward to a new hire, it doesn't bother me.  I am just the chick with the two last names in cubicle 5-021 and I am okay with that.

I am not as hard at home as one would think if they watched me at work.  I wouldn't say that I am bitchy at work but I am not one to give the benefit of the doubt.  I consider it cutting through the chase.  I am not like this at home at all.  If Laurel asks me to buy an app or Rachel asks for a sugary snack (after having a potty accident), I usually cave.  I do discipline but not with the bitchy iron fist that I carry around at work.  (This gives the impression that I have some sort of influence at work...I don't--not power outside cube 5-021.)

Perhaps one day this will change, softer at work, harder at home.  Except for Ching, he gets the hard work side every now and then...