I just came back from a family trip...but God damn it, the trip was no freakin' vacation.

I am behind at work, more tired than before I left, down four vacation days and a few pounds heavier.  But the pissiness has subsided.  I just came back from a family trip...but God damn it, the trip was no freakin' vacation.

I dread the trip even before I leave the state because I have to start by packing...first the girls and then me.  I then think about why everyone has an monogrammed LL Bean back but me?  I get to share Ching's CCW bag.  Yay for me.  While I make sure that the girls have enough outfits, undies and socks for 5 days, I do think of a co-worker that said that vacations totally suck for his wife.  I then try to counter this thought with something positive--I only have to pack a handful of Pull-ups for Rachel has opposed to Huggies and wipes.

I tell myself that I just have to make it through the whole security check and then I will be home free.  For some reason this taking-shoes-off-putting-Baby-Bear-in-a-bin-while-answering-a-million-Laurel-questions just feels overwhelming.

But I get through and tell myself that I am on vacation...but not really.  I am still fetching the girls snacks.  I am negotiating what I am feeding Laurel during a traditional Chinese dinner.  I am trying to get Rachel to smile during the picture taking session at the first of two anniversary parties.  Rachel is the toughest too because while Laurel is acting so grown up, answering all questions clearly and loudly, Rachel will not let anyone touch her.  I can't blame her really because she can see her relatives statementing Laurel to death ("Laurel, you are so tall.") and she probably wants to avoid that.  Also, a few of Ching's aunts wear a lot of make-up.  To me, they look a little like trannies so I can't imagine how she sees them.  None of this can be done by the pool in a chaise...

I haven't gotten any sleep.  We stayed up very late each night and when we went to bed, the girls wanted to sleep with us.  So Ching would sleep with one, and I, the other.  Usually, by 1 am, I was kicked in the head.

You know that feeling during the day before you have to leave a really good vacation?  It totally sucks because you don't want to go. When I was in Minnesota, I didn't have this feeling.  Regardless of how hospitable people were, I wanted to go home.

We took a late flight back and with the hour time change, the girls were beyond Cranky McSourpuss by the time we got home (as was Mr. Ching Wang).

I stayed home with the girls the next day.  Both were very tired, Rachel was nursing a cold and hadn't pooped in four days.  While we were all scheduled to be some where else, I thought it would be best to stay home.  And I had, clothes to unpack and wash while getting the fridge restocked.

I think lovingly of the last vacation that I took that didn't involve the girls or seeing people.  Ironically, Ching was there and I still think about it with love.  We stayed at the Four Seasons Aviara in North of San Diego.  I came back rested, well read and probably weighing a few pounds but regardless, there was no one we had to go see.  Nothing that we explicitly had to do.  The funny things was that we wanted to have kids but didn't equate our grown up vacations would make way for Nickelodeon Universe at the Mall of America.

I have to suck it up because I have several years before the girls will treat themselves to a nice cheese plate rather than the mozzarella on a pizza.  All our down time will be dedicated to the hotel pool.  And to find alone time, I will "need" something from Target.  Yeah, this should happen by 2022.

So when Ching asks me if I want to go some where...I am always hoping he just means the grocery store or something...

Politely Walked Away..

As I still digest the happenings of Christmas season present, I thought I would entertain you with the happenings of Christmas past.  Ching and I try to spend an equal amount of time between his family and mine.  Last Christmas, we were in Ohio with his aunt and uncle (and their children).  His Aunt Angela and Uncle Ming-Luh (pronounced Loo) are the closest he has to parents and their daughters are as close as he is going to get to having sisters.

It is always hard to spent Christmas away from your own family because other families tend to have normal routines that an outsider would label as quirky like using potato flakes rather than real potatoes.  (I offered to peel potatoes several times)..All the Caucasian spouses (Lisa's husband, Debbie's husband and me) not only wonder what traditional dishes are going to be served in between the Chinese ones but also where the hell was the liquor?..Ching's family aren't really drinkers.

I have always gotten along with Lisa and Debbie, the only Ivy League educated stay-at-home moms that I know, but last year, there were several instances when I just had to politely walk away.  Like Debbie asking if we would like to contribute $250 to Angela and Ming-Luh's Christmas gift.  Apparently they wanted to give them an Ipad.  While it was pricey, we agreed to contribute and were there when it was given.  A+M were grateful but less than enthused.  It went unopened for 3 days.  They had no urge to use it.  Debbie didn't find out if it was a gift that they would use before we all chipped in.  Really?!  I politely walked away.  Strike 1 for Debbie....

Now Lisa....Ching talks to Lisa a little more than Debbie.  Lisa and Ching went to college in Boston at the same time (he at BC, she at Harvard)  Since I am on Facebook, I thought it would be another way to stay connected. I asked her if she was on Facebook..she told me that she didn't have time.  Lisa is a stay at home mom with a live in nanny that cooks for them.  Apparently I have plenty of time...I didn't say anything and politely walked away.  Strike 1 for Lisa...

(The stay gave me such a headache.  I wasn't sure if I had a headache because I was keeping in my snark or that I wasn't drinking what they were offering as coffee.  They drink Taster's Choice..you know, the instant coffee with iridescent flakes.  I am not a coffee snob (I would suck on the bean if I had to) but that stuff takes like crap...)

And that leads me to Angela.  She loves Ching and has been very nice to me but Holy God!  I wear a size 8.5 shoe!  My foot is not going to fit into your size 7 used flip flop sandals with the big Boca rhinestones.  No matter how much you don't want to waste them..find someone else because I can't wear them.  If you ask me on Sunday and they don't fit, they are not going to fit on Tuesday.  Mild strike #1 for Angela..

But strike #2 was the be all, end all.  Angela told me that I should have Rachel (who was 5 months old at the time) sleep on her stomach because her face is very round.  Sleeping on her stomach would elongate her face because apparently long faces are better than round ones.  Holy Crap..first of all, Angela--have you met my husband, your nephew?  His face is the definition of round..secondly HOLY CRAP!  Ching heard this and chuckled uncomfortably.  I held back and politely walked away.

I counted down the days until I could come home.  But it is quite possible that Ching was counting down the days this year...

Yes, they are comparing her name to craps....

Yesterday someone commented on Laurel's beautiful name.  This never gets old..it warms my crusty heart everytime.  While Laurel has expressed that she doesn't like it and would like to be called Barbara, I have never regretted the choice.  

I first heard the name in 1986 on the CBS soap As the World Turns.  Sierra was pregnant and she didn't know if the father was the evil Antonio or dullard Craig.  But nevertheless, she picked out Bryant for a boy and Laurel for the girl.  She said that the name Laurel sounded beautiful, strong and wise.  I couldn't agree more. Unfortunately, she had a boy, he was saddled with name Bryant and of course, the baby daddy was Antonio.

I loved the name so much that I was afraid to tell Ching.  What if he said no?  Luckily, my warrior like childbirthing skills convinced him that I should make the name choice.  We also thought the name was more like her when she was born.  The name sounded calm and when she was born, she was very calm.  (Honestly, she was drugged out of her skull. Since I had an epidural shortly before birth..she was feeling the epidural.  She was three sheets to the wind.)

Not everyone was keen on the name.  Ching's family was not for Laurel's name at all.  Since Mandarin Chinese was the first language for the older generation Wang, they had a very hard time saying it. Apparently, L's and R's are very hard to say and Laurel is a power combo of the two sounds.  Ching could of told me but honestly it wouldn't have made a difference.  Ching's Aunt Angela had a very difficult time mastering the name.  Her daughters told her to think of "low roll" as if she were rolling dice (yeah, they are comparing her name to craps).  Low roll merged into Laurel.

Even the aunt, who could say it, didn't hide her displeasure as was evident in a one sided phone conversation after she was born.
CCW:  "Her name is Laurel Alexa"
(pause)
CCW: "Laurel"
(pause)
CCW: "No, Laurel.  LAAAUUURRREEEL" (yeah Ching, slow and loud..that helps)
(pause)
CCW: "L-A-U-R-E-L."
(pause)
CCW:  "Her middle name is Alexa."
(pause)
CCW:  "No, we are not calling her that."  (Hear it comes.  Count it
down with me..3, 2, 1)  "Jude picked it out."


Not to worry, they got used to it.  


Regardless for her love of the name Barbara, I truly believe that she will love her name as much as I do.  But then again, perhaps my mom felt the same way about my given name, Judith..which I would like to give back.