Also my yell is very loud and I haven't forgotten how to bite people.

Dear Mom,
That's right, it's me, Rachel.  You didn't know that I could type did you?  There are a lot of things that I can do or know that you may not realize.  I am taking this opportunity to clarify some things.

What is up with your obsession with my pooping?  I will poop when I poop.  But you tell everyone, every day if I have or haven't.  Give it a rest.  Last time I checked you weren't the queen of regularity.  (Yeah, I saw the super colon cleanse in the cabinet.)  When I ask for milk, I want milk not that prune juice that you pass off as "plum juice."  And no, I don't want any raisins either.

Baby Bear smells great.  I don't like the snide comments that he has a odor.  I love him matted and dirty.  And I know you understand...have you smelled Daddy after one of his bike rides?

As you are buying clothes for Lo-Lo, I noticed that you are going through older things for me.  I want new stuff too.  Laurel's stuff isn't my body type.  She is tall and scrawny while I am compact and powerful.  Let's just call it the way everyone sees it.

Don't bother giving me new foods at dinner.  Every night, you give me some fruits, carbs and a protein.  I am a creature of habit (just like you)...I just want a yogurt and a couple of bites of the protein..that's it.  So simple but you just don't seem to accept it.

Please keep these clarifications in mind and take them to heart.  I understand that I am the smallest and youngest in the family but I can turn the waterworks on in a flash.  Also my yell is very loud and I haven't forgotten how to bite people.  I will torment you in the middle of the night with my pleading of "cuddle, cuddle"--you are so weak at 2 am.  And as the last resort, I will start to like the softness of Huggies again.  I mean it lady...I am not joking.

Best,
Rachel Jessica Wang