But holy shit, where was the vow that said, "I don't know what I am getting myself into but I will work hard. Sometimes more, sometimes less and you have got to be okay with that."

Dear Ching,
Ten years ago as I became your wife in full bridal regalia, I had no idea what I was getting into when repeating those vows. I knew that I "had" you but "holding"--Oh, Christ.  There would be better and worse days---I like the better days.   I understood that I didn't want to be poor---I preferred richer.  I didn't want us to be sick---again, healthy is good.   But holy shit, where was the vow that said, "I don't know what I am getting myself into but I will work hard.  Sometimes more, sometimes less and you have got to be okay with that."

I am not sure why that last vow isn't included.  It applies to everyone getting married.  Even more so if this isn't your first because you want a do-over.  And if a former spouse has past, perhaps you don't want to bring that up.  "I had a very successful marriage...but then he/she died."  It sounds sad and a bit creepy.

I knew that I loved you when we got married but there was so many unknowns (even though we had lived together for a year and been dating for an additional two).  And apparently all of these unknowns will keep popping up until I die because I did promise the long haul.   Over time I have found some of the surprises like the fact that you constantly lose your wallet, work ID or bus pass.  Your lactose intolerance seems to constantly boggle my mind.  And what is up with the lack of belt on the weekend?  Your pants/shorts are so droopy...I know you like to think you have a shred of inner gangster, but that's not really you.

But then there were unknowns that I welcomed.  You are wonderful with the girls with your involvement. I guess I was a pessimist because that shocked the hell out of me.  Any crisis can be solved by mapping out the solution with a spreadsheet.  We were able to tolerate both the crazy neighbor and the criminal nanny stalker.  And we outlasted that terrible real estate market---who knew that we were buying at the absolute high?  Perhaps we should have just bought a lottery ticket that day.

Even though we have been married for 10, it doesn't guarantee another 10.  I will still work at it...I am pretty sure you will too. (No one makes a meatloaf like me.)  If we don't, I am pretty sure Rachel might bite me or something.  Laurel will just lock herself in her room.

Thank you and here's to several more.

Warm Regards,
Your Wife,
Jude Carlson-Wang