And no, just because you're his #1 booty call, doesn't make you his girlfriend.

Laurel recently acquired some silly bands with sheer joy.  I thought silly bands were a thing of the past but her reaction proved me wrong.  She showed me one that was in the shape of the MLB Logo.  She said a certain boy's name and she was going to give it to him since he likes and plays baseball.  (Another surprise...didn't know boys liked the silly bands too.)

This boy is a friend of Laurel's and when I see him as a seven year old, I can see him as a 16 year old.  He is a very cute athletic boy now but give him nine years--he is going to be a very cute jock, probably in three sports.  God, I hope Laurel isn't going to like him when he is 16...this leads me to think of a list of boys that I want her to stay away from when she is in her early 20's (because I just can't admit that she will be dating at 16).

1.  Attractive Jock--This was a type of boy that eluded me and took advantage of my puppy googly eyes that would always offer to help.  There was a guy in college that was like this to me.  I worked every Monday at the library with him and every Monday evening I was disappointed that he didn't want to see me at some party. Thankfully, it didn't lead me to "just happen" to be at the same party/borderline stalker.  But I was there to preen his feathers every Monday.  Recently I looked at his college picture and I question my sanity...he looked like a Bud Bundy with a mono-brow.  (Plucking/waxing didn't trend until the late '90's)

2.  Gay Guy--Sometimes those platonic feelings just seem to lead to something else...but only for you.  No, you can't switch them over...no matter how hot you are.  (God, I would love to have my 1992 bum back.)

3.  Non-committal fun guy--Everyone wants to be around this guy because he is funny and he does fun things but regardless of where he is in his life, having a girlfriend is not a goal.  And no, just because you're his #1 booty call, doesn't make you his girlfriend.

4.  Spend Thrift Guy--Yeah, there is something intriguing about a very well dressed guy with amazing taste and toys.  He is always out and about getting bottle service and expensive dinners.  But have you ever wondered where this money is coming from, especially if you know what he does for a living?  One of three things:  He is involved into something illegal.  He is spending money that isn't his i.e his parents still give him a monthly allowance. (Dude, you might as well live at home too.) Or he is in so much debt that he is a little bitch to the minimum payment on his Visa and Mastercard on a regular basis.  Back the frick away....

5.  The Know it All--This guy is just trying to give you advice on what he would do about anything but have you ever noticed that he never asks you what you would do?  Or he always has something to add to a conversation even if he isn't really part of it? Because you are polite and listen, he is going to assume that you are interested.  Regardless if you want some sort of companionship, back away.  He won't get the drift until you ask his advice.  As he leans in to hear what he is definitely the expert on...ask him about tampons--which one would he use?  This may shut him up too.

6.  The Quirkster--This is the guy that he intrigues you because he is really weird and you may kind of take some sort of pity.  As an adult, he may like odd things like wizardry, Dungeons and Dragons or Nickelodeon characters.  After awhile the luster will start to dull.  Don't even go there.  Like a circus freak, you want to look away, you don't but then you wish you had.  And this will be exacerbated at 2 am.

7.  The Hunter--Probably my least favorite of the bunch.  He will pursue you and as soon as you show some interest, he is done.  You have done nothing wrong but his lack of interest questions everything during the pursuit.  Then you will think you have some sort of problem when it's him.  This guy is a game player and it shouldn't be that hard.

I know, Laurel...just makes you want to give up.  But no need because one day you will find a guy who likes sports, smart, well-read, well dressed and a whiz on the spreadsheet.  Granted you will be dating someone similar to your dad...if you break up with the new found guy, your dad will be crushed.