I am truly living the phrase, "Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink."

Ching and I pitch some of the best woo in the morning. But none of it is for us...it's for them...those girls.  I am truly living the phrase, "Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink."  Ching and I (mainly me) do the dance of love and compromise every morning just to get them out of the door with very little complaint. 

The pitch starts with what to wear.

LAW:  "I don't won't to wear this shirt, it feels to big.  I would like to wear one that's smaller.  The pants will be too hot by lunch.  I don't want to be hot. Two trips upstairs to get different shirts and pants

RJW:  "I don't want my valentine shirt. It has a heart  I want the one with bunny rabbit.  And I thank the Wang Laundry God which would be me...

Breakfast:

JCW: "Laurel, I have Apple Jacks" 

LAW: "Those aren't Apple Jacks.  They're Apple Dapples." 

JCW: "Laurel, they are cheaper and they need to be gone before you can start the new box of cereal."

LAW: "Okay" 

Wow that was easy...now on to:

JCW: "Here is your milk Rachel.  Would you like fruit, cereal..maybe a waffle?"  She just looks at me like I am a world class dipshit.  "Would you like some cheerios?" 

RJW: "Crackers, I want crackers."

Who in their right mind likes Saltines for breakfast?  But I shut the hell up and get her the damn saltines.

Lunch

JCW: "Laurel, would you like waffles for lunch or a sandwich?"

LAW: "Waffles... and can I have a Chobani with my lucky spoon?"

I will throw in a rabbit's foot too.

JCW: "Rachel, would you like dumplings, cereal or a cheese sandwich?  Rachel, I am talking to you (but don't anger her).  Would you like dumplings, cereal or a sandwich", as I am dancing in front of her to her view to Dora is partially blocked.  

RJW: "I want Cheerios" 

Of course you do--crackers for breakfast and cheerios for lunch.  Makes perfect sense.

Getting final steps:

"Shoes, let's get shoes!"

"Laurel did you brush your hair?  Would you like me to brush it?  And we need to brush teeth."  

"Rachel, can we turn off the TV--yep, let's pause Dora...want to press the button (Please, press the button.)  Hey do you want to vitamin?" You know a vitamin that is sugary but is a vitamin because your breath is vita-stinky for a few seconds...Yep, let's lure you out to the kitchen.

LAW: "Hey mom, can we do my coloring project later?"  

I lie and say yes...just to get out the door.

RJW: "I want to help"

JCW: "Rachel you can help."

LAW: "Mom! She will ruin it!"

I shoot Laurel a look of play along. We are so close to the door.  Rachel will not be coloring your project later and hopefully, neither will I.

With Ching driving off with Laurel,  I drive away from our cul de sac with Rachel.   I think I am free but I am listening to a Backyardigan's song that Rachel calls the "Tasha" song.  The first line goes "I am queen Tasha and I rule the whole backyard."  This song will be on repeat for the entire 10 minute ride to Rachel's daycare.  Fitting end to the morning dance...