You can't fall asleep or you will fall out of the tree

I have a tendency to lose interest when I am tired.  This tendency can, at times, get awkward but tonight I am not talking about that activity.  I am talking about my blog.

First, let me tell you why I am tired.  Rachel had a bad dream last night and wanted to be held from 1:30 to 5:00.  (I went to sleep at 10:30.  I did succumb to rest from 5:00-6:30--I wouldn't say that this morning was my best morning for quality lunches for the girls. Lots of pre-packaged crap. )While I would hold her, she would sleep, but God forbid if I put her down. She would wake right up and cry hysterically. What would be even worse is if I fell into a deep sleep and dropped her.  (Holy shit, it would be 2018 before she would forgive me for that one.)  So I assumed  my position was like one of a hunter in one of those tree stands, looking/waiting for whatever.  You can't fall asleep or you will fall out of the tree.  So after little sleep and a full day of work, my lids are very heavy.

But my blog page of the day stares at me. Blanky, blanky blank.  And of course when I look at the page, I start talking to myself.  (Jesus I just said, "Blanky, blanky blank.") I have to write something.  If I don't, I feel like I am not going to it tomorrow, and then the next day.  Just another thing that I give up/quit..like marching band in high school, Chinese lessons after Ching and I were first married or the worst thing to this day: a tablecloth.  When my dear friends Kathy and Jon got married in 1996, I decided that one of their wedding gifts would be an embroidered tablecloth.  I worked on it for months but prior to their wedding day, it still wasn't done.  But  I wanted to show her what I was working on for them both.  It is 2012 and that tablecloth is still not done.  There is always something else that pushes the tablecloth aside.

On the positive, there are things that I haven't quit but I believe it is sheer circumstance.  I am still a wife and a mother..you can only quit that for so long before those people want a snack or a meal.

The blog is shorter tonight..but I pushed through and wrote something.  Now I just need to figure out how to embroider something.