I can't waste empty calories on soda..I save my empty calorie allotment for liquor.

I am getting absolutely no money for this entry.  I feel like I should make that perfectly clear.

I don't have high expectations for a lot of things.  I expect to be satisfied but not dazzled.  Most days are good if my reaction is just a mere "meh"  It's the way I am.

But every once in awhile, I am astounded by how great a simple product is.  I would like to share with you three things that make me say "Holy Christ on Crutches" (that was for you Heidi!):

Coke Zero:  I have a terrible weakness for soda.  As a kid, I loved the sweetness of Coke but as I got older and my metabolism slowed, I had to switch from full sugar, empty calories to diet soda.  (I can't waste empty calories on soda..I save my empty calorie allotment for liquor.)  I got used to that bitter Diet Coke taste..no calories and a little caffeine jolt to boot.  But Coke Zero..no calories and sugary sweet!!  I would like to think that a woman thought of this.

Chipotle:  I have heard very good things about this place but never went inside.  Ironically, the reason why I went in on Sunday was due to my ol' standby McD's being renovated and not available.  I decide on a steak burrito with everything.  If they are going to offer fillings, why not have them all?  They glance at me with a look when I say "everything" like I better be making myself throw up or use a laxative later.  I ask for guac too..while they tell me it's extra..I don't care.  I look into the vat of green and know that it wasn't previously frozen.  Holy cripe, I want to jump into that vat. I wish for a big cartoon Scooby Doo tongue.  One fell swoop and my entire body is clean.  This burrito was like heaven.  I know it is about good ingredients..free range and stuff.  But they could put chicken nugget pink goo in there, I am still all over that burrito like white on rice.  Speaking of the rice..hints of lime and cilantro.  Trying to figure out when I am going to get there again during the weekend.  Ching asked me where I wanted to go for Mother's Day..but he never thought I would say Chipotle.

Febreez:  I have never liked air fresheners especially for the bathroom.  If you make the bathroom stink, don't fill it with a fake floral smell.  Once you do that, the bathroom now smells like poo and cheap flowers--open a window or light a candle.  But my friend Lesley told me about the magic of Febreez.  And it's amazing.  The ultimate test was the diaper genie.  When you have a toddler in diapers, the genie doesn't mask the odor anymore.  Hold the diapers, yes..but cover the poo..absolutely not.  I put a Febreez cartridge below the bag and no smell!!  Lesley and I think the the slogan should be.."no shit..you won't smell it."

I am not sure if I should laugh or cry at the fact that I am ecstatic about a sugary liquid, a burrito and something that takes away the stink?  They seem to tie together nicely..