I do what any sane person would do, I shut the door hoping it would go away.

If you are eating and about to read this post, you may want to stop now and come back later...just a tip.

So the question over the past few weeks at the Wangs:  Is it worth $400?

Three weeks ago, as I was about to leave for a work trip to Atlanta, I needed to go to our basement to get a piece of luggage.  We keep our luggage in a small utility closet that has the furnace, air handler and in a small corner, several bags for travel.  As I open the door to grab the small black wheelie, an unmentionable stink comes out.  I do what any sane person would do, I shut the door hoping it would go away.

The stink stays...and when I come home four days later, Ching is telling me about this smell downstairs.  (I absolutely do not let it be known that I know about the stink and so instead, I act surprised.)  He tells me that he has aired out the basement so he thinks everything is fine.  Since he dealt with the smell and I ignored it, I let this go.  The smell may air itself out but where is it coming from?  Something that we both keep to ourselves.

We get some heavy rains, the stink comes back.  Ching airs it out again.  And then we decide to call some people.  For $400, they can come over, check out the problem, with no guarantees of solution.  They also tell us that it may pass and it's only an issue when and if there are flies.  We think we are fine.  There are no flies, no $400 needs to be spent.

We then get the August heat (at the end of May) and like clockwork...the flies.  I am not sure if I have stressed how much Ching hates bugs but they are his personal nemesis.  He equates flies with poo and he doesn't like to wear his glasses in the bathroom so he doesn't have to see the poo so..well...I know.  So he goes to Home Depot and spends about $80 on fly traps, fly tape and insecticide.  I am surprised he didn't get one of those bug zappers.  Nothing screams classy like asking how many flies were caught the night before as you reach for the fly swatter.

After a few days, he can't take it.  He tried.  I didn't even try.  We were about the bite the bullet and spend the $400 for a guy to come over to look at our fly and stink problem.  We are also prepared that he may have to bust a hole in our closet...but again, it's just a closet.  Four hundred for a couple of dead mice or a squirrel?  This sucks...

So two guys come over...(one is sporting a mullet which alone to me sets up the scene perfectly).  They have a big truck, a dog ready to sniff out anything, a net and a pitchfork.  (Oh God...again, you may want to look away.)  They go into the utility closet and the know exactly where the issue is...they don't even need the dog.  Outside, above the utility closet is our wood patio which is about 2 inches above the ground.  They pull apart  the patio and find it in 10 seconds.  Of course, this is taking place in front of the sliding glass doors so the girls can see.  As soon as I see the fork go in, I try to shield the girls.  Out from the hole, they pull a 30 pound raccoon.   It's held up like a trophy.  Ching is cowering in grossness.  I am screaming "look away" to the girls.  Laurel is like, "Look at all the fur!" And Rachel is screaming for her daddy, thinking that he is scared like her.  Mullet guy and his friend are yelling about the stink and I am just so happy that it's warm out so all the neighbors can hear how classy the Wangs are right now.

Not only did they find it in record time and fix the patio but they took it with them to dispose of it.  I told Ching that this was the best $400 ever spent.  He then told me that he was so grateful that he gave the guys an extra $50.   I was totally okay with that.  There have been many a time when I complain that Ching and I could pay for services that we could do ourselves.   This was not one of those times.

While the stink, flies and that animal are gone, I can't help but jump at any sort of creak that I hear in the night.  Another raccoon or the Ghost of Raccoon Wang?  At least we know who to call....