I so know that at 10:00 tonight, I will want the last hour of my life back.

I so know that at 10:00 tonight, I will want the last hour of my life back.  I always do but I always watch.  The show is like a bad burrito that tastes so good yet makes you feel so so bad.   I can't help but to be sucked into the black hole of Grey's Anatomy.

All summer I have been waiting with anticipation to see if anyone (besides Lexie) goes off to the Heavens with George, Denny and those doctors nicked by the shooter.  I know I am going to be disappointed but I can't help but be intrigued.  I have a sentimental pull to this show.  The night that Laurel was born, I watched the episode when Bailey gave birth to her son.  Of course, not without drama...there was a patient with a bomb inside of him which of course Meredith was holding and Bailey's husband was having some sort of open skull surgery.  (He was in a car crash racing to the hospital.)  I can still feel the weight of Laurel, swaddled, as I watched Bailey introduce their son (to her husband):  "This is Tucker George Bailey Jones."  (Bailey--I just had a daughter.  Her name is Laurel Alexa Wang.  Of course my husband isn't in recovery like yours.  Mr Ching Wang is making celebratory phone calls..and I think, eating some falafel.)

So I was hooked on this show that continuously brings me back to my joyous occasion during every single episode.  But some of the crap that has gone down made it pretty hard to take but I am still here.  I watched through the awkward relationship of Callie and the chick from Silence of the Lambs (Put the lotion in the basket).  I tolerated the early back and forth of Meredith and Derek--pick me, choose me, love me. (Oh Christ..)  And then the nuggets of Izzie's Dead Denny sex and "It's George..John Doe is actually George!"  But again, I still watch just to bring me back to my hospital bed, sharing a bit of motherhood with Bailey.

As an added aside, from the same "birth" episode, was the "birth" of the word va-jay-jay.  I can't tell you how grateful I am for that word.  I am raising girls.  Yes, I will tell them that officially it's called a vagina but (since it is kind of clinical)  let's just call it a va-jay-jay.  That word came right in time.  Before this word, there was nothing else that I could use.  Over my dead body, would I use the words:  cooter, hoo-ha or good girl.

So tonight, I will hold my breath.  I won't expect much (especially from a ninth season) but I will get to remember Laurel's newborn smell (and of course thank Shonda for the word va-jay-jay.)

As a post script...I watched the episode and I don't want the hour back.  After several years, I was looking for a replication of the night that Laurel was born and that will never happen.  But I have this show to remind me how naive Ching and I were about being new parents...blissful and happy.  It was hard but it didn't stop us from inviting Rachel Ru into the mix.  There is no television show equated to Rachel's birth..she was born during the night when you watch infomercials or a good sitcom.  Obviously a time that she wouldn't freakin' share with ratings stealer.  Very telling...