I couldn't get them to school/daycare fast enough.

When I reached my desk this morning, I was so happy to be at work...away from the girls.  I couldn't get them to school/daycare fast enough.  (Hear that? No, not a corkscrew but the electronic pinging of my e-mail.  I just got another confirmation that I am going to bad mother hell.)

Laurel was hard to wake up.  She did have a hard first few days of the week throwing up (on me).  Regardless, Fridays are always tough.  I have her outfit, tell her that I will give her 2 extra minutes in bed and confirm that she wants to eat a waffle with jam for breakfast.  Smooth sailing...oh crap...no, not so much.
She doesn't want to go to school. (C'mon, again first grade.)
She doesn't want to get out of bed. (Why?)
She is pleading embarrassment.  (Laurel did you accidentally wet your pants a little? Not a big deal)
"Nope."  (Does your stomach hurt; do you have to poop, do you have a little poop on your undies?)
"No, No", eye roll, "no"!  (I just want her to know that she doesn't have to be embarrassed with me.)
"I just don't want to say.  You will laugh."  (No I won't...Well I will do my hardest not to.)
"I don't want to get up!" (Laurel...is it your butt..vajay-jay?  Please don't say it..she is much too young to start her period.)
"No..."
And then Ching walks in her room and the crying starts.  (For the love of God.) When Laurel cries, it starts small and then builds up with the wailing effect.  It seems to really get Ching but annoys the crap out of me.
So Ching starts with the questions. "Did something happen at school?"
Sniff, sniff.."No."
Did someone say something to you or bother you?
"Nooooooo" (I swear this crying seems fake.)
She finally fesses up that she doesn't want to stand in front of the class to do her "Front and Center" presentation.  It's a presentation where she has answered interview questions, brought pictures, etc.
At this point, I multi-task..trying to reason with her but get her clothes on.  I finally tell her, since I am dropping her off, I can asked that she can do her presentation from her desk.  (God damn it, I am becoming that parent.)
So I haul ass to meet with Laurel's teacher...you know, the one that makes me sweat.  She shows me the set up.  Laurel sits in front of the group, with the teacher next to her!  She knew all this time because she saw a little boy do this last week.  I think I was visibly talking to myself as I walked out of the school...this whole morning was a freakin' charade!

And then Rachel...While there is no dialogue or crying she continues not to like to keep shoes or socks on.  All week, she has thrown her sandals, crocs or sneakers at me while I was driving her to daycare.  She will not put them on until we get into the school.  Today was particularly chilly.  I know this is terrible but I kind of wanted her to walk on the pavement so she could feel how ridiculous she was being.  But I don't and I carry her in sans footwear in the chilly rainy weather.  (People chuckle..."Rachel doesn't want her shoes again?"  I do my inner eye roll--Yeah so freakin' funny--keep going.) Then she tries to cuddle up to me as I leave her in her classroom.  This is the only 30 seconds in a 24 hour time span that she wants to cuddle with me (when I am not holding a snack.)

They are joys...both, precious wonderful joys...but for the next 9 hours, I am safe...behind my desk.