God, I need to stop reading Radar Online; I am losing my edge.

Today, when I pulled up RadarOnline.com for the first of several times today, my heart fell for Kim Kardashian.  First of all, RadarOnline has some of best celebrity "news" at breakneck speed.  Usually what you read on RO will appear on People.com two days later.  Secondly, I have never been a Kim Kardashian supporter.  Usually she is a cause of an eye roll...even a wince when I hear or see a capital letter K.  (It's absolutely crazy that this family causes a hatred toward the letter K.  I think all bad words that start with the letter C should switch over and be used with the letter K.  But I digress...)

I felt sad because of the scare (of a miscarriage) that she had to go through. (They even had this sad picture of her...not current because she was still wearing that ring that she hustled from Humphries.)  When I was pregnant for the first time, I had no idea what was normal and what wasn't.  So I assumed everything was wrong.  Every cramp put me on edge like the whole digital read of "pregnant" was a joke.  So during my first trimester, I constantly peed on a pregnancy test to confirm that I was still pregnant.  I truly believe that I spent at least $800 on pregnancy tests in my time.

I have been pregnant four times.  Since I have Laurel and Rachel, I am sure you can do the math.  Actually I blame modern science for knowing that I was pregnant.  Those tests are so sensitive that it is just a matter of time when they will tell you "yes" or "no" 15 minutes after the deed.  As soon I could, I would see if I was pregnant.  I wanted so badly to be pregnant (and after several months, just a break from all that scheduled, task-like sex).  Every positive result was so exciting and so nerve wracking.  But totally beyond my control, two were keepers and two were not.  It was so early in the first trimester.  If I was trying to get pregnant in the 1980's, I would have never known that I was with child.  

While I was sad and felt empty, I did come to the realization that Ching and I were ready to be parents and we wanted to be.  We had the support from our family and friends and I was healthy.  While devastating, we could try again.  I needed this affirmation even if it was delivered the hard way.

I wouldn't wish this on any woman.  On the RO article, there were comments about Kim and that this could be a publicity stunt.  Christ, that is karma that you don't want to mess with...the bigger the ass, the worse that bite will feel.  Going against what I know best, I will give her the benefit of the doubt.

God, I need to stop reading Radar Online; I am losing my edge.