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Thursday, September 13, 2012

With this entry, I am taking one for the sisters...because too many of us have freakin' been there.


Prologue
Let's get squicky, shall we?  Initially you may read this and think, "Holy Cripe, you are sharing a lot."  My mom may want to crawl under her desk or add something stronger to her coffee when she reads that I am writing about my OB/GYN/birth control consult conversation with Ching.  But this conversation is not about what was said but that one person is taking responsibility while the other is clueless.  With this entry, I am taking one for the sisters...because too many of us have freakin' been there.

CCW:  "How was your day?"
JCW:  "It was fine--work was fine.  But I did go to the doctor."
CCW: "Why?"  Eyes darting right and left.  "Is everything okay?"
JCW:  Never sure why men don't see a doctor's appointment as preventive medicine, only as something bad...or a god damn pregnancy confirmation.    "Ching, if you mean fine by a confirmation that I am 40 (with a follow up mammogram appointment) or that I gave birth naturally to our girls (and now have to address a leaky bladder)...yeah, totally fine."  (Son of a bitch.)  "But I am thinking or really have made a choice about changing birth control."
CCW:  Says nothing but looks blankly and then worried like he is going to have to do something.
JCW:  "To avoid taking the pill everyday..."
CCW:  Still looking confused..
JCW:  "Because, you know, the pill is everyday...I was thinking about an IUD"
CCW:  Again, confused.  Really this guy knows 1940 World War 2 Europe but current birth control?  I think the last time he heard the acronym IUD was back in 1985 when he was in the 7th grade health class...just waiting to see a picture of a drawing for a naked woman while spitting paper at the douche bag in front of him.
JCW: "I am choosing (his ignorance has led me to my choice) the IUD...I can have it placed and not worry for five years."
CCW:  "How does it get in there?"
JCW:  "In my uterus Ching..that's the place where it goes.  There is only one entry and I believe you are familiar with this.  I can't swallow it."
CCW:  "Wow, it sounds like you are getting a tune up."
JCW:  Awesome.. "I don't have to do this unless you want to get a v.."(I am baiting him.  I know even the letter gets him to turn white.)
CCW:  "No..."
JCW:  "Then IUD it is, if the vasectomy is not an option.  In case you are online, it is the Mirena..this is what your wife is getting."
CCW:  "Should I do something?"
JCW:  "No, continue what you are doing now...nothing.  I will take care of it."

I should have had this conversation closer to a gift giving season...rookie move JCW!

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