I don't even want to turn on the light to see the damage.

Warning...this entry is about kids and throwing up...

As a mother, there is nothing more humbling than your 6 year old throwing up on you at 1:30 in the morning.  But at the same time, I am always proud of myself when the projectile happens.  Prior to having kids, I couldn't think about the v- (The p word is not in my vocabulary.  Like "fun", the word puke is unacceptable.)  The sound of someone retching and then the smell...just thinking about it made me gag.  While I was pregnant with Laurel, Ching got the stomach flu.  I seriously wondered how the hell was I going to deal with kid gunk?  I was really bad--As Ching is throwing up on another floor and I am covering my ears with a pillow.

But at 1:30, early this past Monday morning, Laurel enters our dark bedroom.  She has to sleep with us, now...her stomachs hurts.  I immediately go for the poop offer and then another (offer) of me sleeping with her.  This usually works well.  I lie down with her and 10 minutes later, she is asleep (just like my left leg).  I get back to my own bed and since it is 1:30, I only have four hours left before I have to drag myself up and down the stairs to make those freakin' lunches.  Neither the poop offer (maybe you have to) nor the offer to sleep in her bed work.  Begrudgingly, I move over to the middle while Ching fakes sleeping through this.  After a few minutes, Laurel is making noises.  Ching finally admits to being awake by asking Laurel if she has to poop.  (Dude, the jig up.  I know you were awake when you heard me ask her.)  Laurel says no and then he asks her gently if she feels like she is going to throw up.  Within a couple of seconds, she says yeah.  (Holy crap...I am freakin' trapped in the middle..get up, get up!) And then it happens...and because I sat up, I am a human shield to Mr. Ching Wang.  I don't even want to turn on the light to see the damage.

I don't revert back to pre-pregnancy Jude that was grossed out by vomit...it happens with kids.  With some sort of team like efficiency, Ching and I get Laurel cleaned up and in the den where she can sleep in the queen sized guest bed.  (While this sounds like a fairy tale of marital partner/parentship, I put my needs first and get the gunk off of me...as I shoot only one hairy eyeball over to Ching.)  Sheets, duvet cover, pillowcases, etc all in the wash.  I let Laurel know that I will sleep next to her.  While I know she wanted a parent there, this was my gesture of no hard feelings, it is just a grossness and it happens.  It is 1:56...I have 3 hours and 34 minutes before the lunches.

There was never a transition of dealing with my girls and their vomit.  I dealt with it like dealing with wiping poop.  Gross, but it will pass.  Of course, wiping poop goes away around 2.5.  I know that my girls won't know how to time the need to throw up while getting to the bathroom in time.  This won't happen until 12, maybe 14.  So I am prepared for several more years...

But what I don't want to anticipate is Laurel's sickness being passed to me.  Good Lord, I hope her stomach bug was isolated...every now and then, I swear I feel nauseous.