I ripped open my package like a 6 year old boy ripping through a box of cereal to get to the prize.

I was seduced by the coolness...I wasn't planning on getting the I Phone 5 right away. It was definitely on my radar for a Christmas treat but not now.  But the hype of the new version kept drawing me in. When Mr. Ching Wang suggested that I pre-order my phone on September 12, he didn't have to ask me twice.  Sounded like my upgrade was all ready a line item on the Wang family spreadsheet!

I didn't do anything crazy to pre-order like stay up and order it at midnight.  I just ordered it on 9/12 at 9:00 and they said I would have it on 9/21!  The very first day--things like that doesn't happen me!  I felt ultra cool and I am not going to lie...I kind of bragged about it too.

As soon as I got home (on 9/21), I ripped open my package like a 6 year old boy ripping through a box of cereal to get to the prize.  It was so shiny and new!  Now, I knew I would have to woman up and do something with a SIM card to activate it.  I was pretty sure I could.  But how in God's name am I supposed to get into the phone to get to the card?  I look up this question online and apparently the special tool that can assist is a paperclip.  Are you freakin' kidding me?  A paperclip...just a basic paperclip?  Then I was kind of shaky...what if I scratch the crap out of my new phone or worse, break it?  I gingerly use my paperclip (that I had to scrounge around the Wang household to find) but then realized that gingerly won't pop the SIM card out. I hold my breath and shove the clip in...Holy Christ on Crutches, I could never be a surgeon.

But I do it!  I enter a couple of codes and then I am told my activation is pending.  I am not surprised...but what I didn't anticipate is my old phone shutting off.  It will pend for a little bit...perhaps I will go to bed.

The next morning, there are no bars on my new phone.  Apparently, still pending.  I give this until noon and then I am calling.  (Holy frick, I think I broke it!)

At noon, I call AT+T and get Kevin.  I explain my situation and he explains that the queue is due to an extensive volume since the phone was available.  I am totally fine with this...until he feel the need explain what this volume means.

Kev: "Imagine hundreds of cars in five lanes..."
JCW: Dude, is he explaining to me what a queue is?
Kevin:.."and all those cars have to merge into one lane.  Can you understand me?"
JCW:..I live this twice a day, you jerk.

I don't give him crap.  I am sure his day has been a nightmare since some higher up didn't prepare for the volume.  And (Kevin) probably is told that he is lucky that his job hasn't been outsourced to India.  I just get the hell off the phone right after he tells me that it is going to be another 24 hours.

When all of this is going down, Laurel is sniffing around like a rodent.  She knows that once the new phone is up and running, she can use my old phone as her own I Pod.  Every time she asks if my phone is fixed, I secretly push back her receipt of my old phone.  She isn't getting the phone until 10/6.

On Sunday, with a chip on my shoulder, I call AT+T again.  I get LaToya---not only does she empathize how my situation sucks, she tells me what I need to do AND stays with me on the phone while I am scouring the Wang household AGAIN for that paperclip (which I am sure Rachel flicked in the trash).  Holy Cripe---my phone works!  LaToya---you are amazing.  Kevin---you suck.

Just two years ago, I didn't even consider a cell phone.  Now, without it, I felt like I had lost a thumb.  And I was bitter.  My coolness, gone.  If I had waited to get my phone a few days after "the first day", I would at least have my older phone.  Upgrading to shiny and new really bit me in the ass.  (I will remember this when Mr. Ching Wang gets older and saggier.)