I thought Vegas was a fluke. I never had that much fun.
When I hear the term "Girls Weekend", I tend to cringe. (Quite frankly, it sounds like Girl Scout camp.) Not only am I not a people person but I am definitely not a woman's person. I don't think I am very supportive, I don't like hugging and I would rather be alone. I tend to make fun of ladies that cackle in a flock. (OHHH Hiiii!....oh Christ, I say.) I jump to the assumption that the weekend will be me, having to hold the hair of a woman who can't hold her on liquor. I also jump to the assumption that I will feel left out at some point.
But back in May of 2011, when I got Sue's invitation to Vegas to celebrate her 40th, I didn't even give it a second thought. Maybe I was lonely for a different type of friendship and needed a break. I am not referring to the Wang family vacay kind of break where I don't sleep through the night and have to make sure that all restaurants that we are considering serve either grilled cheese or chicken nuggets. Also I needed a break from Ching. Around that time, Ching and I were very snippy to each other..many a day, I just wanted to smash his face in. When I told him that I was going to Vegas with some old friends, he was kind of shocked. Not only was it out of character, but I am sure he was fantasizing about some sort of pillow fight in our undies.
I have never been good with female friendships. I am someone that is very low maintenance and hope that any woman that I befriend is the same. I think it sounds worse that it is. My first priority is my family and myself. I have had friends of the past that were so wrapped up in themselves and I felt that I was catering to them. They tended to be women that would say "call me" or "visit me" but never reciprocate. I had to drop them like a stone. Over time, I became appreciative of the friends that I still have and skeptical about making new ones.
While there were several women invited to celebrate with Sue, there were three women that left me very intrigued and nervous. I had so much anxiety about this trip. While we had re-connected on Facebook, shared several laughs in e-mails, what would it be like face to face? It had been almost 20 years. Good Lord, it felt like high school all over again. I just hoped that they didn't think that I was an asshole.
They didn't! (Imagine that?!) This Vegas trip was a blessing which I know sounds ironic..a blessing in Vegas. But I was able to re-connect with three woman of my past, Sue, Heidi and Lesley..and I was quite grateful. I don't consider myself cool but with these three, I felt 15 pounds lighter, witty and Hollywood cool. JCW was just herself..and I was grateful.
The Vegas trip was so good that we decided to meet at Lesley's camp in Maine for a weekend. Like any weekend away from my family, I am seized with anxiety and guilt. Perhaps I shouldn't be away from my family or be around other people for a small amount of time. (Again, I tend to be awkward around people..I pawn it off to not being a people person.) Vegas was amazingly fun...I was hoping it wasn't a fluke. I was hoping that the Maine weekend would be fun too.
The weekend was great. It was very low key, gorgeous weather and I was around three other women, all of whom have children, work very hard and love to laugh. I was very surprised when I didn't really want to leave. I missed Ching and the girls--they were constantly on my mind. But during this weekend, I feel very relaxed and on vacation. I don't think that has happened since 2005. But I did have to go..my liver was hardening by the hour and my freakin' scale said I gained six pounds?
I can run it off well before our next weekend.
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