Oh Jesus...there is nothing like a newborn baby that makes you appreciate how grown up your children are.

On Sunday, my sister Jess and I took our "humps" (I am using your word, Tacoma Sue) out to lunch for Father's Day.  While Jon and Ching, enjoy fried things and "lobstery" things, we had a really nice lunch in the sunshine.  The kids ran without abandon (Thank you Gritty's for having a yard and play area for kids);  Jess told me how great and fit she felt and as I swore that I was 3 pounds heavier, while I also pledging that wouldn't drink again.  (There was a party at my mom's the previous day.)

As I bellied up to something greasy, there was a newborn also on the restaurant deck that would occasionally let out a cry.  Oh Jesus...there is nothing like a newborn baby that makes you appreciate how grown up your children are.  This cry sent my body into terrible spasms.  First, my stomach would tense up and my stature would go into a concave silhouette.  This "stature" may not make sense to those who have never had a 3 day old chomp down on your nipple like a fat man eating a steak, but whatever.  I, then, feared the nighttime.  When both Laurel and Rachel were newborns, the night was the worse.  I couldn't reason with them.  I didn't know why they wouldn't sleep and I felt so alone during the night.  And I swear to God..there was a freakin' peeper in my windows.  

I made a joke to Ching about how that cry just made me want another.  (No..Nope..absolutely not...) Of course he glowed but my legs clenched shut while making a note to call my prescription into CVS.

When Rachel looks at me with her mangled words and pout, I do truly appreciate that I can (kind of ) reason with her.  When she was 4 weeks old, I couldn't (while she had that pout back then.)  Ching will not admit this, but he isn't good with newborns either.  I truly believe "the newborn non-reasoning" is the reason why I will not have more children with Ching. (This is assuming that the money suck is not the issue.)  Ching and I are very good with our girls...after the age of 18 months.  After 18 months, Ching and I can figure out what our child(ren) need.  Prior to this stage, the Wangs, with the spreadsheet hanging out, very, very vulnerable.

Again, let me stress to any family members that there are no more Wangs.  My legs are clenched with a vice while that newborn cry replays in my mind.