It's not like she was in the corner with 50 Shades of Grey, charging her friends a buck to read the dirty parts.

I am dreading tomorrow night.  I tell myself not to worry until the exact moment that I need to but the resentment all ready there.  Rachel (that's right Rachel) has her parent teacher conference on Wednesday night at 6:20.  (Usually my Wednesdays are dedicated as "Lindsey Wednesdays" when (Lindsey) picks up the girls and I can stay a little later at work.) Not only can I not putz through out my day, knowing that I can stay later, but what the hell can they tell me about my child who is under the age of 2?

Granted this dread is precipitated on the fact that I was approached by one of her teachers last night during pick-up.  (Oh Christ, did she bite someone?  Sit on someone and grab their hair with all her might?  It really hurts, I have been there.)  Oh, no..apparently Rachel had a small car in her hand while she was being changed.  She then preceded to drive the car over her nether regions.  Okay..that's it?  I look at this teacher like the most odoriferous silent but deadly just crept up?  Really?  Every time a boy tugs his junk, do you tell the parent (of the boy) that this is an incident?  It's not like she was in the corner with 50 Shades of Grey, charging her friends a buck to read the dirty parts.  I really didn't know what to say..should I offer to take the car home and clean it?  Should I..freak that, it's ridiculous.  I give Rachel a hug and we get the hell out of there.

Rachel is the girl that made my heart grow bigger than I thought possible.  She also:

• Is very dramatic. If she doesn't get her way, she can drop to the floor and turn on the waterworks like a pro.
• She will eat what she sees..even if the food isn't hers.  I like to call this survival of the fittest.
• Rachel will tend to lead the class into chaos.  I like, to assume for her, chaos is fun.
• She is becoming more verbal but of course so many words sound like the f-bomb or shit.
• And now, according to her teacher, she is masturbating with a matchbox car...please.  

Rachel is a girl that is on track..verbally, mentally and socially-they don't have to tell me this given.  And she is also healthy..I think that health is a gift that is overlooked too many times.  I will go into a conference session on guard because I don't want them to tell me otherwise.  (Really? Not a big deal..It's not like she was jamming little cars down her Huggies-size 5) My girl is perfect and she is a toddler.  And I also want her to just be a little girl.  No need for a measuring stick (as I push Ching, face down, with his spreadsheet)..she is my precious girl..my Rachel Jessica.