He seemed to think that this was my way of saying my uterus may be open.

I realized that I am a total elitist when it comes to becoming a parent...and I am okay with it.  This weekend I had two related situations when finding out a woman was either pregnant or toying with the idea.

Situation #1--An acquaintance of mine on Facebook spilled some big news. (We were acquaintances in high school, never tried keeping in touch until the wonder of Facebook.  We have been friends for the past couple of years, commenting on photos, shared some snark and she supports my blog which I appreciate.)  She is expecting her fourth child.  This truly took my breath away...really.  I woke up cranky, crusty and cynical (like usual) and I scanned my phone while I did my morning pee.  When I saw her news, I was so happy for her adventure.  The way I figured it, she has raised three kids into teenage-hood.  They seem well balanced and she is very involved.  At the same age as me, she gets it--she knows that this ride isn't all cute baby girl dresses with the matching garter belt for the bald head.  I wished her well...I hope I erased my cynicism enough to sound sincere.

Situation #2--Now for the flip side...Ching's brother and wife of 18 months came for the weekend.  They had plenty of gifts for the girls and I could see that "hey, I think we are ready for a child" glint in their eyes.  I wanted to test that..perhaps with a little hazing.  I haze because I care.  They play with the girls for a solid two hours--some quiet play with art supplies and some hard playing with a bat and ball.  (Heh...Rachel with a bat...very awesome.) Then they wanted to take the nap...the adults wanted to sleep, not Laurel and Rachel.  I make it clear that there are very few naps during the first five years of each child's life.  I also get Rachel to load a huge bomb in her diaper that I am sure the neighbors could smell.  I let them know the challenge of Rachel's attachment to Huggies.  I talked about never travelling/dining anywhere without a good children's menu.  Rachel, sensing their fear, starts to act cranky on cue and Laurel does her weird spacial thing.  (She always likes to be cuddled right up to you regardless if you are sitting on the couch, paying for groceries, trying to eat or take a dump.)  They had a good visit but they made it clear that they were planning a tropical vacation for late summer--I don't think I will have to buy a baby gift for them soon.

Situation #1--She knows.
Situation #2--They needed to know.  And I only told them a fraction.  I don't mind being exclusive about this. What they are considering signing up for is serious shit and it's not for everyone.

Of course I told Ching about my friend in Georgia due at Christmas.  He seemed to think that this was my way of saying my uterus may be open.  Nope, not a chance...still closed...and if you want to sleep in the den, I am fine with that too.