You know how some people can't wait to take off uncomfortable undergarments as soon as they get home--my filter is my uncomfortable undergarment.

I woke up with the feeling of dread.  All day this event just looming over me like a dark cloud.  Tonight is the Cabot Community Dinner.  It's a back to school dinner that gets parents and kids together with pizza, sweets and a DJ.

First of all, it's on a Tuesday--the worse day of the week.  By Tuesday night, you are elbow deep in your typical weekly crap and the week isn't even half way done.  Secondly, I have no urge to be social and correct.  To be correct means keeping the filter on.  All day at work, I focus and have that filter on but as soon as I get through the door, the filter is off.  You know how some people can't wait to take off uncomfortable undergarments as soon as they get home--my filter is my uncomfortable undergarment.

Ching gets there first because he has volunteered to sell tickets (Slices of pizza, juice boxes and desserts are purchased with tickets.)  I am just going to show up.  For Christ's sake, I have been nice all day.

I don't like these things.  I am okay in smaller classroom settings with parents on either side of me.  But this is a sea of adults and kids and I don't want to walk up to someone and strike up a conversation (and probably say something inappropriate and awkward is the filter isn't on tight enough). Of course the one conversation I will have will be right near the DJ booth and I won't be able to hear a God damn thing.

I am okay with not being friends with other mothers at Laurel's school.  I am okay with this because I have friends, they are just not mothers at this school.  Maybe eventually, when I figure out who Laurel's real bestie is and I will make the effort.  But right now I am friendless at Cabot Elementary and I am okay with that.

So when I get home and change my clothes, I can all ready hear the DJ in the field. I look at the clock and let myself know that this will be over in 90 minutes.

I get there and Laurel wants me to join her on the "dance grass" and do the swing dance.  I just twirl her a bit and then Rachel is like a magnet wanted to twirl too.  With all of twirling going on, this is when a mom comes up to me.  Sure as shit...the one mom that talks to me is right by a speaker.  I think I talked about volunteering on picture day.

Ching is sitting among the ladies selling tickets.  I am somewhat amused but proud at the same time.  There are several woman volunteers and one dude.  That one dude is my man, Mr. Ching Wang.  I am curious how that conversation is going--wondering if it's about activities, new teachers or a lack of focus.  Hearing about other kids and their lack of focus calms him down.

As Rachel wants to spin to the music, I decide that I don't need to talk to anyone....because with this spinning I may throw up.  I notice Laurel dancing and realize that her pants are too small.  I am also question those moves and may have to curb her Katy Perry watching.  And why is she dancing in her socks?  Where the hell are her sneakers?

I look around and notice other parents that are just standing, watching like zombies.  I don't think they want to talk either.  Maybe they also realize, like me, that they have eight more of these dinners in the future until all kids are in junior high.

Before the last song, they announce there is a parents only event on 9/27.  I really don't see myself going to that event either.