I just came back from a family trip...but God damn it, the trip was no freakin' vacation.

I am behind at work, more tired than before I left, down four vacation days and a few pounds heavier.  But the pissiness has subsided.  I just came back from a family trip...but God damn it, the trip was no freakin' vacation.

I dread the trip even before I leave the state because I have to start by packing...first the girls and then me.  I then think about why everyone has an monogrammed LL Bean back but me?  I get to share Ching's CCW bag.  Yay for me.  While I make sure that the girls have enough outfits, undies and socks for 5 days, I do think of a co-worker that said that vacations totally suck for his wife.  I then try to counter this thought with something positive--I only have to pack a handful of Pull-ups for Rachel has opposed to Huggies and wipes.

I tell myself that I just have to make it through the whole security check and then I will be home free.  For some reason this taking-shoes-off-putting-Baby-Bear-in-a-bin-while-answering-a-million-Laurel-questions just feels overwhelming.

But I get through and tell myself that I am on vacation...but not really.  I am still fetching the girls snacks.  I am negotiating what I am feeding Laurel during a traditional Chinese dinner.  I am trying to get Rachel to smile during the picture taking session at the first of two anniversary parties.  Rachel is the toughest too because while Laurel is acting so grown up, answering all questions clearly and loudly, Rachel will not let anyone touch her.  I can't blame her really because she can see her relatives statementing Laurel to death ("Laurel, you are so tall.") and she probably wants to avoid that.  Also, a few of Ching's aunts wear a lot of make-up.  To me, they look a little like trannies so I can't imagine how she sees them.  None of this can be done by the pool in a chaise...

I haven't gotten any sleep.  We stayed up very late each night and when we went to bed, the girls wanted to sleep with us.  So Ching would sleep with one, and I, the other.  Usually, by 1 am, I was kicked in the head.

You know that feeling during the day before you have to leave a really good vacation?  It totally sucks because you don't want to go. When I was in Minnesota, I didn't have this feeling.  Regardless of how hospitable people were, I wanted to go home.

We took a late flight back and with the hour time change, the girls were beyond Cranky McSourpuss by the time we got home (as was Mr. Ching Wang).

I stayed home with the girls the next day.  Both were very tired, Rachel was nursing a cold and hadn't pooped in four days.  While we were all scheduled to be some where else, I thought it would be best to stay home.  And I had, clothes to unpack and wash while getting the fridge restocked.

I think lovingly of the last vacation that I took that didn't involve the girls or seeing people.  Ironically, Ching was there and I still think about it with love.  We stayed at the Four Seasons Aviara in North of San Diego.  I came back rested, well read and probably weighing a few pounds but regardless, there was no one we had to go see.  Nothing that we explicitly had to do.  The funny things was that we wanted to have kids but didn't equate our grown up vacations would make way for Nickelodeon Universe at the Mall of America.

I have to suck it up because I have several years before the girls will treat themselves to a nice cheese plate rather than the mozzarella on a pizza.  All our down time will be dedicated to the hotel pool.  And to find alone time, I will "need" something from Target.  Yeah, this should happen by 2022.

So when Ching asks me if I want to go some where...I am always hoping he just means the grocery store or something...