Yeah, you need that like I need another glass of wine.

There are two buckets of candy currently sitting on the Wang mantel in the living room...not touched, not eaten.  I walk by it, thankful that my weaknesses are a heavy pour and dairy...but then I think about that and am not so thankful.  Why doesn't Laurel keep her candy in her room like I did, frequently, sneaking piece by piece?  By November 3rd, my candy was gone (except for the cheap crappy candy). Today is November 8th and the candy doesn't look touched.  Was Halloween just a game of acquisition?  (God, my kids are weird.)

I hate this time of year.  It is filled with crap "scary" decorations that scare no one but Laurel.  (It is very hard to pick up a couple of things in CVS with Laurel around Halloween.  I have to convince her that the pillar of death is not hanging out in aisle six.  I offer her comfort standing near me..as I pick up tampons.)

Halloween continues to give me a lot of anxiety revolving around the costume.  As a child, it was fine.  My mom always came up with a costume until I was in the 5th grade.  After that, I took care of it myself until I was in the 7th grade, kind of knowing that I was pushing my luck going door to door.  But then college and Halloween meshed...holy cripe, I don't need pressure to think of a good costume.  The only good one I had was in 1992 when I went as Amy Fischer, Long Island Lolita.  But that was it.  I am not a woman that looks at October 31st to dress as a slutty version of something else.

Thankfully, right now, the anxiety just hovers around ordering (good costumes), at a reasonable price, and early enough to have their size.  Laurel asked for a costume that cost over $100--I think this is payback to not sewing one like my mom did for me.  With Rachel, she won't wear one.  Period.  I order..she looks at me like I am a freak, gives me an eye roll and walks away.  In some strange way, I think Rachel thinks she is being mocked.  This year, she rejected my new costume.  She said she would wear her panda costume but then took her promise back the night of.  When the actual night went down, she would only put on a pirates hat to get her candy and then would toss it after the grab.  (God, am I screwed.)

Then I get mad...way do we have so much Halloween candy?  Why did we did we go door to door, basically begging for that candy?  MY KIDS ARE BEGGING FOR CANDY! Now they are not interested and Ching is squirreling around like a rodent casually asking where Rachel's candy is kept.  Yeah, you need that like I need another glass of wine.

Every year, I offer $25 of random candy and face painting.  I haven't got a taker yet...but I certainly will when the slutty version of Halloween comes into play.